Ok. the rest of today.

Last time I blogged it was right after lunch. I did physics after that, all the way up until physics lab. Now I don't have anymore physics to do. I have no real homework this weekend. (well, I have to make up a 5-7 minute presentation with detailed instructions on how to do something. I think I will give instructions for doing something edgy or illegal, just for kicks.

dig it.

http://www.anarchistcookbookz.com/

(for the right-wing extremist [jk]. more like for the completely stupid. Interesting to know, really dumb to practice. [unless we are conquered by another country and need to fight for our homes or something. you know, on the off chance.])

This could be an interesting experiment. Certainly one that will make my English prof question my sanity. I'l try to keep it relatively low-key. (especially since my English prof seems to have scheduled this assignment to coincide with the renewal of my voice to the public.) The most promising one I have seen so far is the kitchen brew of R.D.X (and a few stabilizing mixtures). The price, altogether, comes down to about 50$ for just a few mL of the stuff making it yourself (unless you happen to have some of the weirder chemicals on hand). Completely impractical for anyone planning anything serious, but still volatile enough to be interesting. I wonder if I will get in trouble for it. Probably not..... I will email the teacher in advance to make sure it's cool.

I actually helped someone else with Lon Cappa today. Much better than being helped. Shane tells me all I do is type all day. I'm listening to Dillinger Escape Plan now. I think I could really get used to Mathcore, and this band practically started it.

Today, I thought about relationships some more. I know that's been a theme of mine lately. I attribute the trend to a sudden increase in campus freshmen couples in the past few weeks. Ok, I don't remember all the logic or depth I went through on this subject, but I did explore what people of several worldviews would think about this. I don't want to run it all through in my mind again, but I think the general idea I arrived at is that any marriage which isn't centered around God is basically a licence to have sex without feeling bad, and is therefore worthless. If you are motivated wrongly, you might as well not be married and just live together and have babies. I think that Christians should go ahead and let gays be married. In fact, I think that we should let marriage deteriorate into nonexistence outside the Church. I think that the Church aught to just give marriages to Christians, (who cares if they have to pay some taxes. Give to Caesar what is Caesars). Let nonChristians work out the stupidity of the whole idea on their own over time. I think marriage would be just fine as a weird practice which only Christians practice. Of course, if Churches were to put what I am suggesting into practice it would tremendously accelerate the moral decline of the world around us. Not necessarily a bad thing, as it could possibly mean the end times, or easier converts in their struggles.

The other thing I thought about today, was how I am starting to feel closer to people. I am beginning to feel a real attachment to certain individuals around campus, and I wonder if they feel the same intense respect for me as I do for them. I could even name them if I named people on here. I think the headcount of people who I am beginning to feel at home with on campus is nearing 5. maybe 6 or 7. It's hard to say. I am still worried about myself around some people.

People keep telling me I need to come up with a good first phrase. I honestly have no idea. Like, that is such a crazy thing to ask. All the really deep phrases are secretly cliches and I don't want to quote anyone (unless it's the Bible, and in that case it had better be an obscure verse or it will be the same thing they here all the time) What I would really like to do is walk in to the quad after about a good half-hour to an hour of praying at Spear (my "real" first words) and scream at the top of my lungs at everyone in the lobby. I have been wanting to do that for a while. I don't think I could bring myself to do it. The last time I remember yelling was on a roller coaster with Gavin, and that's probably just because it was with Gavin that I could do it.

But about that first phrase. Here are my ideas so far: "God loves you"; "*yelling*"; "*something about how doing this doesn't mean my faith is any more hardcore than theirs, as some people have hinted to me*"; "*something simple and anti-climactic like 'hi'*"

and that's all I've got. The next quote isn't being considered for my quote, but I thought it was appropriate to a certain train of thought I have been following lately (and may or may not have mentioned in my blog. If I have or haven't is irrelevant, really).

"Fallen Angel, how you've changed. Poison runs through your veins. Who clipped your wings, so useless? Cut.. You cut them yourself? Chewed off your own.. Good thinking. You were coming apart, and I thought I could help you through the fever"