Monday, March 15, 2010

So spring break has been good so far. Jessica's water pressure is like... air. i mean, before i came to LeTU i probably would have enjoyed it, but now it just feels like nothing compared to the "rips-the-skin-off-your-body" water pressure ive become used to in the quads.

i'm going to do my english homework first because it's easiest, but i should really do my physics and comp science.

Sometimes I entertain the idea that if a girl were ever to come up to me and tell me how meaningless our lives seemed if we didn't consider God, and how even then our purpose here is so simple that we can't help but make it ambiguous; or how we are always restraining ourselves, even against better things; or how too many people realize societies problems, but a unified effort at resolving it is impossible; or how the whole world is at our doorstep, but we get majors in things with no eternal ramifications, all in preparation for a life at a desk, but what is stopping us from seeing the world and maybe even changing it. any of those things and so many more. I might just ask her to marry me on the spot. haha, what a test of a person's resolve... but if she said yes? I would probably do it, and if we turned out not to like each other so much... well, I think that any to people can "make" it work. on the other hand, we could always run from our problems. work for just long enough to get $6-800, then spin the globe and go where your finger lands.

I want to live a life full of adventure, but I can't help but think I'm entertaining a romanticist idea there. Like I've been lied to, and am keeping up that lie in myself. I dont mean "Indiana-Jones" adventure. more like.... maybe.... "Yes-Man" adventure, but not even so romantic.

I told my sister that in the summer, if I have lots of extra money, I might set myself up for summer school and then buy a ticket to.. idk, maybe Spain, and do my school there over the internet. I could stay at a cheap hotel and go to a cybercafe to get my homework from some community college back home. She said "good luck" and acted like it was a bad idea, like I couldn't do it or like I would run into problems on the way. What problems? I fail to see any issues with that idea. I hear "you might not know the language" so what? All I need to do is survive on my summer-job money for a month and a half. If I get a cheap hotel with a continental breakfast, I'm set for food. (What meals I don't horde from the breakfast, I can get TV-dinner style.) That's generously 1000 dollars. then, the round trip ticket out of here and back is generously 800. I'm almost positive I will make that much this summer. Transportation? If I get a place in the city, I can walk to a cybercafe more than likely. lets think worst case scenario:What if I am in a bad part of town? If I am killed, I am. If I get mugged, I do. Making it back will be yet another adventure --and those are less-than-likely.

I guess... the point is... I still don't know what fuels our fear of new things like that... but I don't want to think that if I do something fun, I am doing it to prove a point.... am I? If I am, is that necessarily a bad thing?

anyway, I'm done blogging today

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