Today I hung out with some people I met at those friend's house. Some seniors in high school.

I just got done with FaceBook, which I took care of while listening to the credit music of Braveheart. It was better than the 'no-music' I've been listening to for the past few days. I am having real music withdraws. I am having trouble sleeping for want to listen to what differs from a single stanza of a song to an entire genre of music, depending on my mood. And my ears are sore from the sound of people talking and cars running and silence and (yeah, movies, but) not music.

I just totally bombed a potential conversation with a certain girl. I'm sure I didn't lose too many points though. It was a texting conversation and I've had some good ones with her recently. On top of that, she knows it's late and we are both tired and stressed and stuff. I would get her talking about what she's stressed about, but she wouldn't. She's a Dugway girl.

Now, I'm not talking about that specific girl, but I think it's alot easier to talk to people who aren't from Dugway. People from Dugway talk about each other, and that's about it, and they expect everyone else to not only start but to carry the conversation. And when I say she wouldn't elaborate about what she's stressed about, I mean that I wonder if she has even really put it to words herself? Dugway people, in my experience, pass alot of their stress onto relationship drama, which is practically nonexistent compared to elsewhere, but it is all they have. At least, it seems that way. Maybe I am just projecting... it seems like that would be an easy characteristic to project. Also, I shouldn't dog on them too much. She has been getting alot better since I've known her. I think that the girls Bible studies really have had a positive influence on them. It's a pity they never got a solid guys Bible study going.

Also, I've noticed that people in Dugway have a hard time coming up with things they've done. "What have you done lately?" "Nothing."... for real? You haven't done ANYTHING?? I mean, even saying something like "today I ate some corn dogs" would make a better conversation, or any conversation at all.
....
I don't want to go back to Utah... I feel like I was making such great progress in developing actual social skills, even if it WAS with people from LeTU. On top of that, I will be staying with my all-too-eager parents. Don't misunderstand; I love my parents, but if they try to set a bedtime for me or restricting the amount of time I spend listening to music from my computer down to one hour per week (again!!! the "real" restriction was that my computer was not allowed to be on for anything but homework but for one hour per week, because they thought it was affecting my grades. I had a 3.95 at the time, and my grade dropped to a 3.6 after that restriction, thanks.), then I am applying for every job within 100 miles and getting myself a cheap hotel or apartment asap. I realize that might mean I won't get the music whenever (because I am leaving my computer here in order to be cost-effective), but I will not stand for that kind of restriction. I will take my headphones and external hard drive and listen to music at the library. RAWR!!!! In fact, I will leave if they do that, or if they try to give me a bed-time, or maybe even if they try to give me a curfew. I will not have it!

I'll probably still apply for some part time jobs, though. Just to keep me busy, and even though I won't get a car this summer, maybe I will get a large mp3 player. (Idk if I could handle less than like a 10-gig, and even that's pushing it.)

My sister's laptop at least has firefox, so I am getting spellcheck as I go. That's nice.

I'm gonna either go to sleep or watch TV... I'm super tired, but I'm not sleepy... and I'm hungry.... ahh well...

Today's quote doesn't seem really pertinent to anything happening to me right now, but I heard it a couple of times this week and it struck me as profound. I like it.

"Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it stays alone. But if it dies, many more seeds grow from it."