No blog last night. Might have had something to do with my text inbox. I completely forgot until it was already too late. "too late, when has it ever been too late?"

I had been putting that certain something off for a long time. I figured the parties involved would understand, because we are all so busy.

I remember when I learned the difference between too and to. I was really young and I overheard someone explaining it to someone else.

"I crossed my fingers, but I didn't beg"

If I could look into that person's eyes just once... I think I would understand alot more. I think I would have a better idea of what thoughts are running through the person's mind... or at least, I would gather something that could get me out of this loop. I would know where we stand in this mess, and maybe I would let it go."5023 emails. that's 4.7 emails a day for 3 years." It is hardly a mess anymore. More like something pushed under the bed. It is behind us. I am going to try so hard for us to see each other this summer. We already agreed that we both want that. God, please help me to make that happen. God, Your will be done.

I took a trip down memory lane, checked out some old emails. I know that's totally weird, but this is still something I don't understand. Reading one or two of those made me cry. If it was anyone's business but ours, I would post all of those emails right here. Instead, I am going to start saving them as text files for a while. Someday, I think I am going to turn it into a book of letters, and then a novel. If I ever get around to it. Books which, even if they are written written, will never be published. I will make sure of that. My computer still automatically logs me into that website, even though I haven't been on in months, and my browser's info has been deleted once or twice since then.

"...and no matter what, bestie..you mean the world to me."