Sunday, May 2, 2010

Got a phone call today, and the person on the other line hinted at some things I didn't want to hear. It reminded me of the way I shouldn't be thinking. I found it comforting, even if it didn't really mean anything. Makes me wonder who's reading my blog.

I got a visit a long time ago from someone who is now a friend of mine, I would like to think. I wish I could write to that someone... but that's not how we talk... with words.... this is a difficult one for me to explain without writing exactly who it is. Maybe I will just never get this one out. I think there is only one person besides me who knows that story in detail. Somehow... the more I think about it, the more I think that it's something nobody really needs to know except me.

Back to the phone call. She doesn't think the way I do anymore. It's hard for me to let go of the way things used to be. I realize more and more that it is my only option. For the past few months, I didn't know how we had changed. I had an image of her, and it was the wrong one. We are different people. The whole phone call I felt like there was a conversation we should have been having. There was something clogging up my throat that I couldn't get out, and I really can't put my finger on what it is. Just the answer to all my questions at once, I guess. I might never know. We keep so many secrets where there should never have been any.

Eh, God only knows.

God, bless my friends, and help me to Love them as you do, and I pray they would feel your Love through me.

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