Today I was thinking about God's relationship with his church.

God loves us, and we hate him. He tries to do good for us, to teach us, and we reject it. We constantly push him away while demanding that he be closer to us. He tries to give us life, and we tell him it's not good enough; we would rather do things that are self-destructive, and that hurt our relationship with him. Our possessions are worth way more to us than our God; so much so that we get mad at God when our possessions come into check.

We hate God so much, if he came down and tried to spend time with us in person, we would kill him -- and we did.

Now I understand why God gives us such limited information about his plans. Why would he explain it all to us, when we have already started berating him for doing it in a way we don't like, before we even heard the first part! We don't like sanctification; we don't like trusting God to handle things; we would rather do it our own way. All day long we demand that God reveal his plans to us, because we're so worried about the future, and God's response was so gentle in scripture -- I am so ashamed of myself for not mirroring it -- "don't worry about tomorrow. Today has enough trouble of its own", and then he gave himself up for us.

Why can't I take my own advice? Why can't I just relax? Why won't I listen to God's advice, and just be compassionate, not concerning myself with the troubles that attack me in this world, but continuously pursuing good? Why can't I just calmly take each step, knowing that God is really God? Why can't I forgive? Why can't I focus on what's really important in life, and put that first? Why do I let the stress of the world prevent me from doing as I ought to do?

I know the answer, but I don't abide by it.

"It seems we weren't prepared...can we just go home?"