Listening to this song right now:

I can relate lol.

My dad came to town for the weekend and left Monday. I decided to postpone any non-urgent work while he was here -- because what other time will I have to spend with my dad?

We spent time doing everything I like to do! We drank coffee, wandered around a book store, watched a sermon, and sat and talked about life. It was a real encouragement; but somehow, being so far from the discomfort of my day to day life made the first two days after he left very difficult. I had to adjust again to my current lodging. In any case, I'm really glad he came over.

I'm writing this on my wife's birthday. I'm sad I missed it. It seems like every year on her birthday, something happens (or doesn't happen), and so I don't get to do anything really cool for her. I'll just have to plan something special for when she returns.

I have a lot to do at work, and a lot to do at home. While my dad was here, he encouraged me to sit and process the actual decisions ahead of me. It's something I've been avoiding, I guess, because just like the electricity I spend all day talking with, I love the path of least resistance. Having thought about it, though, I think I now face a more frightening realization -- that attempting to work through this will definitely lead to more work, but choosing to relax and trust in God's providence will almost certainly make things easier. Relaxation isn't easy, because there's so much I still don't understand about the situation, and everyone around me keeps insisting (without saying so) that a financial loss is also a personal loss. I've let myself become emotionally invested in my money -- it's something I don't think I did when I was growing up; I don't know how I got to this place.

But how can I not care about the same things which are cared about by the people I care about? Caring about someone means you want them to be happy, and so I should also want the same for whatever they care about.

I need to learn how to love people without making them a part of myself. I'm too all-or-nothing, and it breaks me up when I get into a position where it's impossible to please the people I love. And then I don't know how to act. I can't make God my only source of joy, as pious as the platitude may seem, because deriving joy from my family is a legitimate part of loving them, and although loving them is a great joy for me in general, it is also obedience to God's command in Eph 5:25-37, (among many other passages of the sort). And, as much as God's love is the model for our love, we know that God creates calm by means of his love, and rejoices over us with singing and dancing (Zeph 3:17), so it is natural and good for us to do love for one another by taking pleasure in one another's joy. I enjoy seeing my family at peace... but what do I do when their peace comes to me at cost, and the price is their peace? Without describing all the details here, that's the way this situation feels. I can't win. These kinds of lose-lose situations seem to be the story of my adult life, and yet in spite of a few major downturns that I've experienced, I see my station improving in small ways every day. Reaching a high place takes a long time, but low places are reached in a matter of moments.

...

Just got off the phone with the warranty company again. I really don't know how to interpret what those guys are saying anymore, it's so convoluted, but it sounded a lot like he was saying they wouldn't cover me because I had another warranty cover me already. I explained loudly to him that the explanations he was giving me were not spelled out in any of the documentation I received from his company, and that the other warranty's coverage was insufficient by two orders of magnitude, and that there was still plenty of cost left for his warranty to cover. I read his own documents to him, and I got really angry with him on the phone, and it definitely showed in my voice, which made me feel bad, because the language he was using was so equivocal that I honestly can't tell if he was trying to help me or get out of paying his part. In the end, though, it seems like we got onto the same page.

I had to get some info, send an email, and then call them back to check that they received it. They said call again on Thursday.

"I know we're busy taking over the world right now, but let's try to stay humble about it."