I'm about to go to bed. It's kinda lateㅜㅜ soooooooo tired~~~~~~~

Today and yesterday I was really clouded in thought about things with Chowon. It took a lot of thinking and praying, but I got my thoughts onto paper and I hope to get them in the mail soon. It's a short letter, but it has lots of meaning in it. It's a little bit redundant at parts, but I want to make my point 100% clear and I'm not sure if there is a better way or not. The 2 pages, front and back, it occupied in my notepad smoothly expanded into 1 page front and back on notebook paper, and I felt a lot better after I wrote it down. I think I spent half of church writing it lol...

I looked through my old blogs today and yesterday. I read some stuff about other girls I had crushes on in the (dark and distant) past. Looking back with perfect hindsight, I see that I was really dumb not to see the signs God had placed right in front of me. However, it's pretty clear that God knew about my blindness and protected me despite it. God never really let me get too close with those girls, I think, because God had planned that I would not be with them. It makes me think that God might have someone special planned for me. ...maybe maybe...maybe it's Chowon.

Looking at those blogs and the embarrassed feeling I get from it, then noticing God's hand in my life almost feels like a pat on the shoulder from God. Like God's saying, "Zac, you're stupid sometimes, but that's ok. I can see that you're trying and I've got your back."

Thanks, God. You're really great.

It's a miracle of God's creation, humans, that we are able to smile even though we are going through hard times. Some of my friends; I never would have guessed their burdens if they hadn't told me, or if I didn't know them so well.

Tonight I want to pray for all my friends, my family, and Chowon. God, carry them and guide them through their stress and burdens with wisdom, focus, strength, courage, patience, peace, and a sense of humor. Amen.

"Thanks, man."