I was thinking today... that there is no point in me not being completely open with everyone. I wonder if there is a question which I wouldn't answer if someone asked me. I guess there are a few secrets I've kept for other people's sake, but questions about me. Maybe there is one. I really can't think of it at this moment.

I want to write a story. 

...

I've started a few stories but I've never finished one.

I guess there's really no harm in never finishing a story.

and I guess there's no harm in starting another.

I am like a dog whose master has left home for a month, with some pet-sitter coming to feed me and let me outside then leaving me alone again.

Mom gives such good advice about everything.

God has been answering my prayers with regard to Chowon. I pray so often for her.

These days I feel God's presence in an absent sort of way, like he's left me a postcard that smells like him and has a picture of him on it and all I can do is look at it and burn in my chest waiting for him to come to me in person.

But also I know that he looks out for me, because I can feel his presence in small ways; whenever something special happens that reflects God's sense of humor or even protects me or prepares me in inexplicable ways, and it makes me happy.

Sometimes I wonder... even if I didn't believe God existed, wouldn't I see that it gives happiness to people who believe? And in that sense, what would I do to give myself happiness in the same way? Like, when I see that people who get happiness from fishing and so they fish often. I think that nature must be giving them happiness, so I make an effort to walk outside sometimes for my happiness to be like theirs, even though I can't fish often.

"I believe in your heartache, like you believe in Jesus."