I feel like my ears are about to bleed. I know exactly what to think, but there are nonsense ideas finding their way in from all angles. It's easy to tell right from wrong, but sometimes hard to pick out fact from fiction.

Lately I've been thinking about my worldview. Why do I prioritize one thing over another? That is, with so much "random" chance involved in every single thing that happens how can I decide that anything will do more good than anything else? Without God convicting me of what is best in every single case there must be some underlying presupposition -- specifically for tonight's purpose, about the balance between "everything is meaningless" and "everything has value". I think I've considered this same thing in a previous blog to no avail. Maybe it's something I'll never know. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to shut out introversion or consideration for the world and live a shallow life (because ignorance is bliss). But a good friend told me a long time ago, "don't stop thinking," when I asked a similar question. It doesn't seem like a very well thought out command, but you'll have to take my word for it when I say that it was, in context.

hmm.... I've rewritten this paragraph a couple times and.... now I'm really hungry, but I don't have food....... I'm gonna go check the kitchen.

"I saw God but I don't know what he said
because my heart was not open"