Bleh. I told a friend my password. That was really dumb. I've been doing lots of really dumb stuff lately, I think.... Not that I don't trust him, but I don't want that password being out in the open. -- and I can totally see him changing something or like deleting my account if I post something that crosses one of his moral lines. ... Oh well, I'll just have to change passwords soon. Too bad. That one has lasted me several years, and I'll be hard pressed to come up with another 12 character password.

Weird how two people will think of each other at the same time. It happens to me a lot, where I will suddenly remember someone and then either I will get in touch with them and they say "Oh, I was just thinking of you" or they will get in touch with me and I will do the same. Liu Hayan posted on my wall recently. That was one of those things.

Looks like I will get to talk to Chowon tomorrow after all. I'm staying at my sister's place tonight.

Today I was thinking about how a person's level of willingness to be open about their feelings is sometimes directly proportionate to the strength of their emotions toward that person. Like the way I think about Chowon. Ok, if I were to be absolutely honest, (and I'm gonna defeat the standard I just set by going beyond what I'm inclined to be willing to admit), I'd say I think about her a lot, and I am worried that it'll be impossible for there to be a future for us, and I don't even know what she thinks of me, and I hope she comes to America so I can put more effort into a relationship with her than I did while I was in Korea. But, would I say that to her, or to anyone else, really...? Even though I think those things, I normally wouldn't even let myself acknowledge that I was thinking them. I'd just push the thoughts aside and try not to dwell on it, and it'll be that way with any girl until we are in a real relationship. I mean, I guess I just put it on the internet for everyone to see.... you know, Idrc who reads this anymore.

The way I see it, the things that happen on this earth are divided into three categories: sin, not sin, and grey areas. And really just two, because most or all grey areas can be resolved into the other categories by a close examination of the circumstances. That's all that really matters in the world. Our physical possessions, our self and public image, our reputation, even our relationships apart from God are all temporary and ... well ... they aren't really worth anything in eternity... All that said, I think it's impossible to not care about all of these things at once. We're programmed to want to be with people... I try hard not to care about public image and reputation much, but I know I'm one of the worst in that area.