Tomorrow I have EPM at 2:00PM, Skype with Chowon at 11:00PM (it will probably go until midnight) and then I have to work at 4:00 AM the next morning. I'm not officially working because of something with my signature. Idk, I think I'm doing everything wrong since I got accepted for the job. I was clueless at orientation, making a fool of myself -- but there was little I could do to resolve it. And at shift signups, I asked around and they said I could use a picture instead of a signature, because some people do that. I used a star because that's what I often use for signatures at the dorm, but the lady who tallies shifts or whatever didn't know it and didn't put me on the official shift list. Maybe I'll get paid overtime? I don't think that would be honest. I'll just keep taking things as they come and hope everything works out.
Oh, and to top off tomorrow's schedule, I have to write a 5 page essay due on Monday, because I wrote the wrong essay. ... on the bright side, that means I'm ahead for the next essay.
Ugh....
Gabbi pointed out to me that I am still emotionally damaged. I think I'm better the way I am now, but the learning process has definitely left me with baggage.
I told the girl from new years eve that things aren't gonna work out. She still wants to see me this spring break. I'd like to accommodate her, but I don't think it's gonna happen. I have lots of plans, and I think this is gonna be a full break.
Realization always seems to be staring me in the face. What's mine is never mine -- I have to share the future. My definitions are still selfish, but that will change next year when the government sends me maturity. Sometimes I think that if I had complete control over anything ever, ever, ever, no matter how small... I might be consumed trying to orchestrate it.
God allows a coin toss to be random out of love for us; an 8 can only tell someone what the water already knows... each cresting wave can tell us exactly where that last stone fell, but it can't tell you whether or not your next throw will skip. When we follow something fallible, it leads us to folly.
"You already are"
Friday, March 4, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)

No comments:
Post a Comment