Today I got some files off my roommates broken computer using Knoppix. (Score+1 Live-boot Linux!)

The past week or two or three I've realized that I feel a little alienated from the rest of the American and European international students. Like, I didn't go on the same trip as them to Seoul, they don't invite me to parties anymore (totally my fault. I can understand that. I picked the wrong night to experiment.), and they don't invite me to play board games with them. In fact, one time, I said "hey, let me know next time you play! I'd like to play with you." --those exact words, exactly like you're imagining me saying that, and one of them, who I particularly looked at as being on a higher level than me socially, said "We won't.". I laughed it off initially, but yesterday they played a series of games of Settlers of Cattan, with only three players, and didn't tell me about it. I think that it's probably still paranoia if I say they're talking behind my back, but what do I have to go on here? I haven't talked to any of them in weeks, except Drew, and he seems to be on "pleasant acquaintance" or even "happy acquaintance" terms with me.
....
I guess this is another one of those cases where I wish people were absolutely and consistently open with each other.
....
This is nonsense. Every time I think about this I think that I'm only paranoid about it, and it's really nothing, but it's a nagging feeling just under my lungs. It's something I haven't felt since maybe junior high... an unsure sense of rejection... waiting for a reasonable catalyst to inflame itself into insecurity...

Ah well, there's nothing I can do about it now.

"We hunger, though all that we eat brings us well relief. We don't know quite what else to do. We have all our relief, but we don't want our relief."