You know... I've been thinking about it, and as much as I'd like to think that I'm a deep, intellectual, dark, and enigmatic person, I'm really not that complicated.

I have little or nothing to hide. If you ask the right question, or maybe ask a question in the right way, I'll tell you anything. I wish everyone in the world was straightforward with each other; no hinting, no hypotheticals, no curveballs. I am pretty much OK with everyone as individuals, but I'm not good with people. If I am around more than 5 people at once, I get tired very quickly, because it takes effort for me to take a persons intonation, posture, verbal communication, eye contact, closeness, and God only knows what else all at once to formulate meaning, and not only that, but to take each person's patterns of reactions and tailor my actions to best keep the peace while not completely compromising my dignity. It pretty much saves my life that people tend to naturally break into smaller groups of friends. Most of the time, when I'm in a big group, I just sit quietly, smiling, nodding when appropriate, and completely ignoring everything everyone says.

I hate pretty much all the world's governments. I don't hate them because I'm smart and I know all these problems and I want to change things and stuff. I hate them because when I learn about politics, all I see is people whining and complaining and people making "obviously" stupid decisions. Whichever group you listen to, you will agree with, because the arguments are all relative and economics isn't an exact science. I hate it because it straight-up confuses and frustrates me. People are constantly writing books which are meant to put politics and economics into terms which people can understand, but the books all conflict with one another. It's a waste of time. The only thing a political mind is good for is either tracing history or stealing money from large groups of people at once.

I dislike physics because it forces me to be intuitive, but I like calculus because the formulas are easy and problems can be solved using logic alone. History is only useful for historians, negotiators and tacticians. Nobody cares who discovered integrals, only that they were discovered and that they are derivable using many alternative, but still accurate means. The English language is a mess. If people do not stick to Websters Dictionary definitions, nobody can understand each other, but sometimes two peoples opposing definitions of the same groups of words will mesh so well that people can have completely separate conversations but still be convinced that their opinion is being validated. In fact, I am learning that some words are so arbitrary that sometimes I can have a conversation with someone who I absolutely disagree with, completely oppose everything the person says, and still make him or her feel validated.

Love is a useless word because it is poorly defined. There are no good words for social romance. All we have are vague words: "like" "relationship". We might as well start saying things like "correlation" and "symbiosis". Physical attraction doesn't make much sense either. It just happens and we learn to know, accept, and even try to subdue it.

Christianity is simple, despite what we all want to believe. Everything that the Bible says is true exactly as it is said. When Jesus tells a parable, it often labels it somehow, and Jesus often tells us the moral right away. Love one another. Don't steal, don't cheat on your wife, don't just go beating people up or killing anyone, don't worship other gods before God (especially gods that you've made yourself), honor your parents, don't lie, keep a clean mouth (it's good for your thought life), and don't dwell on how much you wish you had someone elses crap. Their crap is their business, so you've got to work with what you have. What other rules do we have to follow? Uh, none. The rest of the Bible is an explanation of salvation, sacrifice, gifts, love (like, real love... the useful kind), those laws, God's mind, and a glimpse of the future.

Aaaaaannnnndddd, that's all I've got.

"Maybe later."