Deposited the last few nights' blogs into the First National dataBank of GWS Veasey.

This weekend was the Fall Festival, so few classes. I have a statics test next week. The way I see it, if I could study statics until my brain was oozing out my ears, actually understand the material almost perfectly, and still phych myself out bad enough to get a poor grade on the last test, I can't imagine how I will get a good grade on this one. This time, I *don't* understand the material. I will just read the chapters, follow along with all the example problems, and pray pray pray pray.

Next weekend or the weekend after will determine whether Hyewon and I keep in touch in the future. I feel like our relationship hereafter is heavily dependent on my ability to resist her that weekend. I don't think it will be too hard in public, because I don't want people around here thinking I have a girlfriend (although that might be a good thing). We might hang out and watch a movie together or something while she's here, and if we do that, I will have to just not put my arm around her.. not hold hands.. not even look at her. Also, I am really curious to see what she's like when she's drunk (because she seems so proud of it), but somehow, I think that won't be happening. The question in my mind is: what is the root of the determining factor here? Is it my sense of honor and Christian values vs. my lust, or my sincere desire for our friendship to last vs. my desire for something more than a friendship with her and that odd mixture of not-really-feeling-hurt (because I understand her point of view) vs really-wishing-this-would-have-gone-differently.
Anyway, one of the first things I plan on doing when I see her again is apologizing, however unnecessary it might be for me to do so.

I should be on Skype and Nateon as often as I am in my room for the rest of the next week. 지혜 is making an honest effort at a friendship, and I shouldn't pass it up just to save my bandwidth.... I just really don't like being on Skype unless I know that someone will be on soon. If I am going to sign on without appointment, I usually just sign on for a second to see who's on, and then get off.... and as long as you are on Nateon, you get popups in Internet Explorer.... ㅜㅜ

"It's a big blue watery road."