NK said she couldn't come through helping me this Saturday. I can only imagine how busy she must be, because this would only take an hour or less and can be done at any time during the day, and we could get food on the way if she had to... I feel a little bit hurt by it. One half of me says I should be more reluctant to help her with her homework from now on, because all signs point to what Roger has been saying all along: "she's using you". But on the other hand, I think that if I help her despite myself, then I will only have to swallow my pride for two more weeks before I leave and I will do so with a clean conscience. After all, I told her I would help her anytime she needed me.

I got stood up by Chinaman today. He was by the stairs on the first floor after dinner. He said he had forgotten and gotten food elsewhere, and seemed to have been waiting for me by the stairs. He apologized profusely and said we could meet on Sunday. I've been intending to meet with him for a while now, but it's especially important to me since he became a Christian. Maybe this delay in our meeting will give me time to find out his real name. lolol. I ended up eating with Gana, which was great that she was there, but it was a little bit awkward because they stopped their conversation for me. I felt kinda bad for intruding, but she asserted that it was ok.

Then, I was in Mejam and I saw this pair of socks that said "I miss you" in Korean, but with the "cute" suffix. On the way through checkout, there were a ton of people in line behind me, so the lady told me in Korean that they were girls socks and asked me if the size was ok. I said it was alright and they were for my friend, and she was like "oh, your girlfriend!" (in Korean) and on my way out she called back to me to stop thinking about my girlfriend because I had forgotten my coffee, and sure enough I had left my coffee on the checkout.. I was kinda embarrassed by the scene, and I was speaking very broken Korean, but I was kinda surprised at myself for being able to understand her^^ And the socks are kindof adorable. I'm gonna ask my roommates if they think it'd be a bad move to make a gift out of socks, and if they give me the ok tonight, I'll give them to 지혜 at lunch tomorrow. My roommate's opinion is kindof important to me, because I've been wrong about what's acceptable in the past, and while most people blow it off because I'm white, I don't like the looks I get when I don't follow their social rules. If it's not ok, I'll just keep them and give them to someone later.

On the way back to the dorm from Mejam I saw all the intl students going out, and it sounded like a party, but yet again I wasn't there.

I wrote that letter to Lindsey today. Mom's been saying it'd be wrong if I didn't send her anything back after how much they all know I love snailmail. It's just that I've only recently learned how to send mail here, and I had nothing to say in response to what her letter said about being jealous of me and Hyewon. I talked to my friends about it here, and they said I should be more disgusted by the way my mom tries to influence my business... I'll try to send it tomorrow.

If I had to rate today on a scale from one to ten, I'd give it a 6.5. So high because of MGMT and because my Peacoat came in the mail this afternoon and brightened things up for me. I'm excited to wear it to the party on Friday. It'll be weird, though, not being able to raise my arms above my head without raising the shoulders. How do people dance in suit-jackets??? Idk, The first half of the party is supposed to be a formal event, so maybe there won't be much dancing.

"You convince yourself that you want it but you don't know. You keep trying to wash the blood from your hands but it won't go. 'We're gonna keep you on the run. We've got the hand-shake under our tongue'"