"How does it matter to you if I am happy?"
"Do you really think that your happiness doesn't matter to me?"
"Why this timing?"
"Is it really hard for you to say it back to me?"


...

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

...

Were I to describe my reaction to that...

I have decided that before I redefine the world around me, I should first clarify myself -- that isn't to say it isn't something I've been trying to do forever, but in this case I have a specific area for measuring, so I can compartmentalize my thoughts and organize a "paradigm" for changing.

I've got spring break fever. I've had it for a few days now, but as the time approaches, restlessness seems to grind at any fault line between reality in the sense of an honest hope and reality from a realist perspective. I have a plan to get ahead on my community service. There are several great reasons to do that, but I also have a theory that nothing anyone does goes without a motive for personal gain -- then follows a challenge to prove me wrong. So then what can I honestly say is my motive for doing this? I don't intend to get ahead in the sense of possibly skipping service later. So what? ... Is it really to "show them that I care about what's happening?"

...That is: of course I care what's happening. I've never consciously acknowledged a sensitivity to the opinions of people who don't like me... or people holding a gun to my self-respect. I suppose, among other things, that is a reason.