These past few days I've been really tired. I even went to bed early a couple times and then the next day I felt tired again. I'm gonna take a nap soon.
Today I wonder about the nature of fear. I kinda hate using the phrase "the nature of" because it makes me look smart and it appears to have a clear meaning even though as soon as I say it a listener is waiting for me to explain what I mean.
So it's good to have a "healthy fear" of the things around you, and it's good to fear God, but it's not good to "live in fear" or to let fear "control you". Where exactly do you draw the line between healthy fear and unhealthy fear? Also, as the man (with respect to a woman) I should act the role of a protector, right? (Trusting God, of course, because I am useless against great adversaries..) Does that mean I should live with more or less fear? and how much am I allowed to tell her about the world around us so that I make her aware without letting her be uncomfortably afraid? How can I keep her from being afraid if I am afraid myself, and how can I be prudent if I am not afraid? Where is prudence on the scale from fainthearted to reckless?
A favorite verse of mine -- God says in Genesis 15:1, "Fear not, Abraham: I am your shield and your exceedingly great reward." All through Psalms we are told "fear not" and "fear no evil".
I took Chowon out to eat once at Tbell and a group of guys came and sat behind her and started talking about some pretty awful things they had done to women. They had thick ebonic accents and Chowon couldn't understand them, but the situation made me afraid. There were many more of them than there were of me, and I wasn't gonna leave the restaurant until all of them were gone first. Chowon noticed my nerves and asked me about it later and I told her a little bit of what they said, but I wonder if I should have protected her from the fear of them by not telling her about them. The Bible seems to say that we should never fear men, but only trust God. The Bible also teaches us to be wise. So there is a line between prudence based on fear of worldly things and prudence based on fear of God... Choosing not to leave until they were out of sight was wise, I think, but my motivation was fear. What should my motivation be?
Oh well. I'll think some more about this one later. It's nap time.
"You called at the right time."
I think that there is a healthy line between too much fear and not enough. to be practical, one should only fear as much as what is necessary to prevent harm. you should be afraid of jumping off a cliff, or else you would most likely die. you should not be afraid of a meteor falling out of the sky and killing you, because that fear will not cause the meteor to remain in the sky; it is indifferent to your view. your fear should be a guide-line to prevent actions that bring unnecessary harm. past that however, fear loses it value. not that removing that fear is easy, or even necessary under all circumstances. Your fear at taco bell was not unwarranted, and the actions you took because of it may (or may not) have made a difference, that is not for us to know. As your role as a protector, it is not always necessary to share what you are protecting her from. However, as your role in a personal relationship, it is good to open up and be honest about it. She should know that you'd do anything to protect her, and that God is watching out for her as well. At that point it becomes a matter of her being able to put her trust in you and God, not a matter of you hiding fear from her. Noone can avoid being plagued by fear, so inst it better to have both the fear and the protection out in the open, rather than trying to hide one, when the other is still likely to show itself, in that, if not other ways?
ReplyDeleteLastly, God knew what He was doing when he chose you to be her protector; He wont disappoint. If/when the time comes, you can be sure He'll give you what you need to accomplish the task he set before you.