The weekend ends like it never began, classes begin again and when they end it will be like they never happened. More homework. More to learn. My heart stands still, remembering... who God is.

I'm not the same as I was before, and I think I'll continue to change, I hope... but at the same time I don't want anymore change.

I'm afraid of a few words, and I'm afraid of a few people. Can I be brave? Can I be strong? I really don't know... I feel like if I say "I'm strong! I can handle everything!" I'm saying the right thing, and I'm saying what everyone wants me to say, but I'm lying to myself and I'm setting myself up for failure. I can handle a lot. I can handle maybe more than many people, but I am far from able to handle everything.

I thought a lot of things about myself, but the world is so much bigger every time I look at it. And so... again to re-evaluate myself. What kind of person am I?

I want to listen to some happy music. What music is happy? Is there any of that around? Is all good music inspired by grief? I don't mean hymns. I can get those by the dozen around here... Oh well.

"No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter. Sometimes that's just the most comfortable place."