So, I got the idea to try "chatroulette" from a SouthPark episode. I'm trying it while I type this. The website is kindof a graveyard. Bad idea overall. (but interesting website concept). Also it kindof burns out my router rather quickly. However, I did have an interesting conversation with two people online. One from "Mississippi", the other from "South Carolina".

The internet is a crazy place.

So I think I've pretty much become aware of the all the worst parts of America. I don't mean recently, but as a whole during my lifetime. Whether it was the freaky stuff going on in Dugway households (which I can't really post here, and that I never should have known anyway), or the freaky stuff going on in Pennsylvania (which was even filtered), or the stuff on the internet, or the stuff in Texas, or the stuff which I just happen to know is everywhere. I have a really desolate view of the U.S.A.. It's kindof like when a person first realizes that they are about to step into "The World" where all their parents' work will be put to the test. Schools all our lives tell us that we "can make a difference" and when confronted with the sudden limitlessness of options available a person can feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. You can't solve world hunger. You almost definitely won't become president. You get seasick too easily to become an astronaut. People are raped and murdered for petty reasons every second in parts of the world and there is NOTHING that you can do about it. ... Nothing. Unless you feel led by God to make a difference in one, or even two small towns, your only option is to send some money so that someone else can do the dirty work for you. How can you live in this world when you make such an insignificant contribution to the good in it?

The answer is difficult, but somehow people manage to live relatively happy lives. Maybe because we choose not to dwell on the terror in the world; but is that the same as ignoring it? The Bible teaches us in Philippians 4:8 to think about good stuff. I think that somewhere in the transition to adulthood a person realizes the harsh reality of their hopelessness, and chooses to forget about it for as long as they can. Living may be hopeless, but suicide is childish. So we each have to justify our existence somehow to keep from being overcome by it. My justification is that God wants us to learn to love before we die. That is, God wants us to learn to feel his love, and to be kind to others so that they will want to come to him as well. That doesn't mean to love certain sins. For example: I still assert that homosexuality is wrong, but honestly I don't care if a practicing homosexual wants to be Christian. Let him! Will he lead YOU astray? The only thing that can come of it is that he will eventually, on his or God's own terms, learn the right way.

The key phrase is: "love the sinner, not the sin".

ETA more chatroulette... maybe I have another blog to read soon^^