Looks like Google lost the header on my blog. I just fixed it. I like this header.
I'm watching the Walking Dead right now. "Everybody else is doing it". It's pretty interesting, but I have to admit I'm a bit put off by how there's a cliffhanger at the end of every episode. I assume that the people in the show are intended to represent a sample of the average southeastern population. It somehow reminds me of the type of illogical thinking that seems to be all-but taught in school nowadays.
Lets have a school council that never does anything important -- that pretty much hits the nail on the head as to why student councils are instantiated. I'm pretty sure it teaches them exactly how much a representative of the people can actually do for the people. How about lets teach kids "evolution, but not any other worldview, because we're so damned open minded." As if other worldviews are "obviously false", because it's not like 80% of the world is deist or anything. We can satisfy their parents by telling the kids once at the beginning of class, "it's just a theory.", and following up with, "just like germ theory, and the cardiorespiratory theory, and the theory of gravity.". Because all theories have equal merit, and our closed-mindedness to opposing theories may as well negate their existence. [I'm not about to make this post about why science is the modern day Vatican; but I'll write about it if someone asks] How about lets teach kids math only one way everywhere, because this way will definitely reach every learning style, and the teachers are not intelligent or coherent enough to look at their kids and see who's learning and how, and try to meet the kids at their level. We'd better hand out birth control and condoms to teenagers, because we've given up on morality and these kids aren't smart enough to take responsibility for their own actions (nobody ever waited until marriage to have sex anyway -- that was a myth). For that matter, everybody has to obey the dress code except for the cheerleaders, and also all the other girls sports teams. Oh and I almost forgot to mention: those kids better get into the habit of extrapolating 3 sentence ideas into 5 pages, because that's what their bosses will want.
I've got the end to that series all thought out and worded in my head. I'll see if I can get to posting it tomorrow.
Oh oh. And I've decided to start looking for a pottery class in Phoenix. If any of my nonexistent readers knows one, let me know.
"Well how do you know that?"
P.S. Everybody please feed Fido. He's at the bottom of the page. Food is available by holding your mouse over "more".
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
I want to put down this letter written by Cicero to one of his friends. Cicero worked hard to be an upright man in a difficult time, namely the time when Rome was failing. His insight into the failures of Rome are valuable to us now, because the U.S. faces similar trials. There are lots of great letters, but this is one that I think encourages us to stick by our moral standards, no matter what. I'm transcribing this from a library book, Penguin Classics: Cicero - Selected Works.
------------
To Atticus,
On his way to Epirus.
I have received several letters from you, and they gave me an idea of the anxious suspense with which you are waiting for news. Every single outlet is blocked to us. And yet far from refusing to be slaves we fear death or exile as greater evils than slavery, when they are really much smaller ones. That is how things are; everyone groans about the situation, and not a voice is raised to suggest remedies for it.
What those in charge have in mind, I suspect, is to make sure that there is nothing left whcih anyone else besides themselves might be able to offer as a bribe! Only one man opens his mouth and speaks against them publicly and that is young Curio. Rightminded people give him tremendous applause and a highly respectful reception in the Forum as well as a great many other signs of goodwill. Fufius on the other hand, they pursue with shouts of insults and hisses. But this inspires distress rather than confidence, when you see that the people are free enough in their feelings, while their capacity for courageous action, on the other hand, is muzzled. Do not ask me to go into details, but in general things have come to this: there can be no hope of either private individuals or even state officials being free for much longer.
Yet amid all this oppression there is more free speech than ever, at any rate at social gatherings and parties. Indeed, the people's indignation is beginning to outweigh their fright; though on all sides there is nothing but utter despair. The Campanian Law ordains that candidates for official posts put themselves under a curse if their election speeches make any mention of land being occupied on different terms from those laid down by Caesar's legislation. Everyone else took this oath without hesitation, but Juvenitus Laterensis abandoned his candidature for the tribuneship rather than swear it -- and he is regarded as having done a very fine thing.
I cannot bear to write any more about politics. I am disgusted with myself and find writing about it extremely painful. Considering how crushed everyone is, I manage to carry on without actual humiliation, yet without the courage I should have hoped for from myself in the light of my past achievements. Caesar very generously proposes that I should join his staff. He also offers to send me on a mission at state expense, nominally to fulfill a vow. But the decent instincts of sweet Clodius hardly suggest that this would be secure, and it would mean that I was away from Rome when my brother comes back. The other job, on Caesar's staff, is safe, and would not prevent me from being here whenever I want to - I am keeping the offer on reserve, but do not think I shall use it. I do not know what to do. I hate the idea of running away. I long to fight and have a lot of enthusiastic supporters. But I make no promises, and please say nothing about it.
I am distressed about the freeing of Statius and a number of other things, but I have become thoroughly thick-skinned by now. I wish you were here -- I long for you to be. Then I should not feel so short of advice or consolation. Hold yourself ready to fly to me if I call for you.
(Att. II, 18)
Rome, June or July 59B.C.
------------
Soon after this, political gangsters effectively made it impossible for Cicero to continue living in Greece. Cicero fled, and his relationship with his wife soon diminished, as she wished him to be more sympathetic to Caesar. While he was gone, his land was seized, his house was raided and destroyed, and he ended up divorcing his wife and never remarrying. Nonetheless, he continued writing influential letters, and his philosophizing soon became what is now a potentially invaluable resource for American Citizens who wish to understand why America is failing, what America's future looks like at present course, and what power is held by individuals to recover it.
I want to encourage my few (if any at all) readers to study the collapse of Rome and consider how immorality and corruption played a crucial role in it's demise, and pick up Cicero and read what he had to say about it.
"A stone is only a stone as long as it is left unturned."
------------
To Atticus,
On his way to Epirus.
I have received several letters from you, and they gave me an idea of the anxious suspense with which you are waiting for news. Every single outlet is blocked to us. And yet far from refusing to be slaves we fear death or exile as greater evils than slavery, when they are really much smaller ones. That is how things are; everyone groans about the situation, and not a voice is raised to suggest remedies for it.
What those in charge have in mind, I suspect, is to make sure that there is nothing left whcih anyone else besides themselves might be able to offer as a bribe! Only one man opens his mouth and speaks against them publicly and that is young Curio. Rightminded people give him tremendous applause and a highly respectful reception in the Forum as well as a great many other signs of goodwill. Fufius on the other hand, they pursue with shouts of insults and hisses. But this inspires distress rather than confidence, when you see that the people are free enough in their feelings, while their capacity for courageous action, on the other hand, is muzzled. Do not ask me to go into details, but in general things have come to this: there can be no hope of either private individuals or even state officials being free for much longer.
Yet amid all this oppression there is more free speech than ever, at any rate at social gatherings and parties. Indeed, the people's indignation is beginning to outweigh their fright; though on all sides there is nothing but utter despair. The Campanian Law ordains that candidates for official posts put themselves under a curse if their election speeches make any mention of land being occupied on different terms from those laid down by Caesar's legislation. Everyone else took this oath without hesitation, but Juvenitus Laterensis abandoned his candidature for the tribuneship rather than swear it -- and he is regarded as having done a very fine thing.
I cannot bear to write any more about politics. I am disgusted with myself and find writing about it extremely painful. Considering how crushed everyone is, I manage to carry on without actual humiliation, yet without the courage I should have hoped for from myself in the light of my past achievements. Caesar very generously proposes that I should join his staff. He also offers to send me on a mission at state expense, nominally to fulfill a vow. But the decent instincts of sweet Clodius hardly suggest that this would be secure, and it would mean that I was away from Rome when my brother comes back. The other job, on Caesar's staff, is safe, and would not prevent me from being here whenever I want to - I am keeping the offer on reserve, but do not think I shall use it. I do not know what to do. I hate the idea of running away. I long to fight and have a lot of enthusiastic supporters. But I make no promises, and please say nothing about it.
I am distressed about the freeing of Statius and a number of other things, but I have become thoroughly thick-skinned by now. I wish you were here -- I long for you to be. Then I should not feel so short of advice or consolation. Hold yourself ready to fly to me if I call for you.
(Att. II, 18)
Rome, June or July 59B.C.
------------
Soon after this, political gangsters effectively made it impossible for Cicero to continue living in Greece. Cicero fled, and his relationship with his wife soon diminished, as she wished him to be more sympathetic to Caesar. While he was gone, his land was seized, his house was raided and destroyed, and he ended up divorcing his wife and never remarrying. Nonetheless, he continued writing influential letters, and his philosophizing soon became what is now a potentially invaluable resource for American Citizens who wish to understand why America is failing, what America's future looks like at present course, and what power is held by individuals to recover it.
I want to encourage my few (if any at all) readers to study the collapse of Rome and consider how immorality and corruption played a crucial role in it's demise, and pick up Cicero and read what he had to say about it.
"A stone is only a stone as long as it is left unturned."
Monday, August 18, 2014
The past few weeks I've been paying attention to current events...
I'm not about to rant about how the left is evil and stupid, or how the right is evil and greedy. You already have an opinion, and if you don't then perhaps you should get one.
But what does that mean, "getting an opinion"? Wading through an ocean of mud slung from "right" to "left" and "left" to "right". These "wings" appear to be full of people who are somehow convinced that the leaders on the opposite side of the spectrum have no single thought for the good of America. Our mainstream news is all but **completely useless**. I very rarely see a clear article come from them which I cannot, by deeper investigation, find to be grossly misleading. That includes FOX, CNN, NPR, MSNBC, and even BBC and RT, all of them. (...Although, BBC and RT are somewhat more useful when taken in perspective, because they give their own country's spin, which is bound to be different from the U.S. news.). Even Reddit is difficult to sift through, because many of the opinions are based on what people have seen in the news or on Reddit. I tried getting information directly from "leak" sites, but honestly there's so much there that it's hard to sift through it, and I don't have the attention span for it most of the time. I've looked into Twitter, but that just seems like such a trap. Whenever I feel like I'm getting close to the point where I can "watch Twitter feeds" on a regular basis, I get depressed and frustrated with myself because... because... Twitter is so lame... And so is Vine. They're all just copies of the same damned meta. Facebook, Vine, YouTube, Twitter, etc.; they are all pretty much the exact same thing, only with different limitations. Really, though, is there anything that any of the aforementioned sites can do that Google+ can't do and more? But Google is hardly trustworthy. They talk so loudly about internet freedom and neutrality, but yet they bought up Twitch and are muting old videos which had songs playing in them. They wrote the software that China uses to keep their own people uninformed! Who decided that an uninformed population was good for anyone!? If the people are knowledgeable, then they are able to protect themselves from an evil government, domestic or foreign, and with that protection also comes security in their freedoms. There is absolutely no bad that can come from the truth, only good can come from it -- it's just that initial pain that people are afraid of when they have told too many lies. Telling the truth after a lie is like changing a bandage that's been on for too long. It hurts, but if you don't do it your skin is going to start to stink and eventually rot.
All that to say, getting an opinion is difficult because evil people have manipulated stupid people into thinking that it's better to remain stupid, and to keep as many others stupid as possible. That said, suppose you stumble onto the truth in the midst of the current state of affairs. Well, by knowing the truth you become disillusioned; by understanding the truth, you become trapped in a world where your likelihood of making it better is small; and by telling the truth you offend everyone. The truth doesn't set you free on earth; it sets you free in death.
What's the point, then? If I can't make a difference, why try? Seems like we should all just try hard to get rich, and if we begin to fail, commit suicide. Well, as we can see by simply looking at internet news and listening to the radio, celebrities fall into 2 categories: those who are terribly depressed and show it, and those who are terribly depressed and hide it. Many of the ones who hide it are the pathetic losers on the radio who have this incessant need to continuously write more lyrics about how they're partying hard and doing drugs and having sex. Like they think, "if I say it makes me happy enough times, then maybe I'll be happy". Happiness, in a general sense, is nearly impossible to find by any endeavor on earth. Accept it. It's not a depressing thought, necessarily, it's just a fact. You very likely will never have the opportunity to make a significant positive impact on "the world".
Here's what I've realized in the past few weeks: It's not up to us to make a significant difference on the whole world. Who's idea was it to tell us we could or should change the world? We shouldn't even try. What we should do is change the people around us. Go hug that depressed dude over there. Go buy a meal for that homeless guy, and eat it with him and hear his story. These are small things, from which you might not observe any immediate good. However, if everyone was doing it, then wouldn't the world be great?
I already hear someone saying, "But everyone isn't doing it. Me helping isn't going to change anything, so what's the point?". That kind of thinking is exactly the reason why everyone isn't doing it. Massive change requires individual decisions to do small right independently of the world around them. That means that if you change first, then you're doing your part. You don't have to expect anyone else to change, and you shouldn't. Just change yourself.
Anyway. The reason I started writing this post was to say I've been in a really bad mood lately because of what I've been seeing on the news. If you want to end war, just refuse to fight. Some "leader" out there is telling a bunch of idiots on strings to take up their arms and defend the motherland from the other idiots on strings who are defending the motherland. As if national sovereignty over specific dirt has any real meaning anyway. We're trapped by this idea that currency is a necessity of humanity, and so a government to which taxes are paid is vital to the propagation of human life. Is it? No. It's not. And that's a topic for another post.
"Maybe one day I'll buy a meal for someone and they'll kill me. What a blessing."
I'm not about to rant about how the left is evil and stupid, or how the right is evil and greedy. You already have an opinion, and if you don't then perhaps you should get one.
But what does that mean, "getting an opinion"? Wading through an ocean of mud slung from "right" to "left" and "left" to "right". These "wings" appear to be full of people who are somehow convinced that the leaders on the opposite side of the spectrum have no single thought for the good of America. Our mainstream news is all but **completely useless**. I very rarely see a clear article come from them which I cannot, by deeper investigation, find to be grossly misleading. That includes FOX, CNN, NPR, MSNBC, and even BBC and RT, all of them. (...Although, BBC and RT are somewhat more useful when taken in perspective, because they give their own country's spin, which is bound to be different from the U.S. news.). Even Reddit is difficult to sift through, because many of the opinions are based on what people have seen in the news or on Reddit. I tried getting information directly from "leak" sites, but honestly there's so much there that it's hard to sift through it, and I don't have the attention span for it most of the time. I've looked into Twitter, but that just seems like such a trap. Whenever I feel like I'm getting close to the point where I can "watch Twitter feeds" on a regular basis, I get depressed and frustrated with myself because... because... Twitter is so lame... And so is Vine. They're all just copies of the same damned meta. Facebook, Vine, YouTube, Twitter, etc.; they are all pretty much the exact same thing, only with different limitations. Really, though, is there anything that any of the aforementioned sites can do that Google+ can't do and more? But Google is hardly trustworthy. They talk so loudly about internet freedom and neutrality, but yet they bought up Twitch and are muting old videos which had songs playing in them. They wrote the software that China uses to keep their own people uninformed! Who decided that an uninformed population was good for anyone!? If the people are knowledgeable, then they are able to protect themselves from an evil government, domestic or foreign, and with that protection also comes security in their freedoms. There is absolutely no bad that can come from the truth, only good can come from it -- it's just that initial pain that people are afraid of when they have told too many lies. Telling the truth after a lie is like changing a bandage that's been on for too long. It hurts, but if you don't do it your skin is going to start to stink and eventually rot.
All that to say, getting an opinion is difficult because evil people have manipulated stupid people into thinking that it's better to remain stupid, and to keep as many others stupid as possible. That said, suppose you stumble onto the truth in the midst of the current state of affairs. Well, by knowing the truth you become disillusioned; by understanding the truth, you become trapped in a world where your likelihood of making it better is small; and by telling the truth you offend everyone. The truth doesn't set you free on earth; it sets you free in death.
What's the point, then? If I can't make a difference, why try? Seems like we should all just try hard to get rich, and if we begin to fail, commit suicide. Well, as we can see by simply looking at internet news and listening to the radio, celebrities fall into 2 categories: those who are terribly depressed and show it, and those who are terribly depressed and hide it. Many of the ones who hide it are the pathetic losers on the radio who have this incessant need to continuously write more lyrics about how they're partying hard and doing drugs and having sex. Like they think, "if I say it makes me happy enough times, then maybe I'll be happy". Happiness, in a general sense, is nearly impossible to find by any endeavor on earth. Accept it. It's not a depressing thought, necessarily, it's just a fact. You very likely will never have the opportunity to make a significant positive impact on "the world".
Here's what I've realized in the past few weeks: It's not up to us to make a significant difference on the whole world. Who's idea was it to tell us we could or should change the world? We shouldn't even try. What we should do is change the people around us. Go hug that depressed dude over there. Go buy a meal for that homeless guy, and eat it with him and hear his story. These are small things, from which you might not observe any immediate good. However, if everyone was doing it, then wouldn't the world be great?
I already hear someone saying, "But everyone isn't doing it. Me helping isn't going to change anything, so what's the point?". That kind of thinking is exactly the reason why everyone isn't doing it. Massive change requires individual decisions to do small right independently of the world around them. That means that if you change first, then you're doing your part. You don't have to expect anyone else to change, and you shouldn't. Just change yourself.
Anyway. The reason I started writing this post was to say I've been in a really bad mood lately because of what I've been seeing on the news. If you want to end war, just refuse to fight. Some "leader" out there is telling a bunch of idiots on strings to take up their arms and defend the motherland from the other idiots on strings who are defending the motherland. As if national sovereignty over specific dirt has any real meaning anyway. We're trapped by this idea that currency is a necessity of humanity, and so a government to which taxes are paid is vital to the propagation of human life. Is it? No. It's not. And that's a topic for another post.
"Maybe one day I'll buy a meal for someone and they'll kill me. What a blessing."
Friday, August 15, 2014
So I made a small ASCII game to keep me busy during the most boring times. It's sortof roguelike, but without a map. Basically, every 5 mins you have to make a series of decisions. It's intended to be something you can do while you work on homework so that you get distracted now and then, but it's not a bad distraction so your homework still gets done.
Here's the game:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/39394690/Business.exe
Here's the source:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/39394690/main.cpp
That's my "FINISHED MY CODE!" dance.
Also, this is kinda how I feel in the morning these days:
Here's the game:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/39394690/Business.exe
Here's the source:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/39394690/main.cpp
Also, this is kinda how I feel in the morning these days:
I don't really like the way they used the background voices in this song, but the lyrics are kinda cool.
"The sign is in the window, but I never clean it; so when it comes to it, I guess I don't mean it"
Friday, July 25, 2014
I miss my fiance...
I don't know how to be optimally loving. I have a friend who is dying of cancer. He'll probably last a few more weeks, but his condition is getting to be unbearable for him, and even with my help we aren't managing the funds to pay for his medicine (which is mostly just stuff to help him keep food down, and a mild pain killer). He found some lady who buys his meds in Mexico and sells them in the states for half of US prices, but it's still $60/day for the bundle. He invited another homeless guy to live with him, which turned out to be a great idea because he can't manage himself outside for very long anymore without puking, which means he relies on the other guy to make rent in their extended stay hotel room.
As far as I know, he has no living relatives who are interested in him. He's probably in his 60s, and has never been married. He had a house he was renting, but that burned down not more than a few weeks ago. From what I can tell, the landlord isn't making him pay for it (not that he could either). He had a friend who used to help him out by purchasing some sort of rugged storage container that he makes. Since discovering that he only had a few months left to live, he'd sold his friend several containers on credit, hoping that his friend's good faith would help pay for medicine. The bill is $500, and his friend isn't going to pay. His friend fully intends to allow him to die suffering in order to avoid paying that money. He lost the draw for military benefits, but he has more than enough characteristic scars, stories, and legitimate info to prove his veterancy (as far as I'm concerned. You can be skeptical, but you'd be wrong).
He's got a really sweet personality, but sometimes he makes off color remarks about Vietnamese people. He found out I had a Korean fiance and then asked me if I was offended by his racism toward Vietnamese people (not in those words). I told him that there's nothing wrong with not liking someone as long as you aren't hurting anyone. He says he's fine with Koreans. lol. He believes in God, but he's not very well versed in doctrine... not that it matters; he get's the point, and his sins are forgiven. He's always telling me about how I must have great karma. I haven't corrected him about that. I figure it isn't worth it to try and talk him into an accurate view of God. I don't even have an accurate view of God. All that matters is that he knows God loves him. His roommate is trying to talk him into getting a weed card. I admit that I think it would be a good thing for him, but he is militantly opposed to any drugs or alcohol (except tobacco apparently), and I can respect that.
I'm totally lost for this guy. I can't give him anything that will help him. Nothing at all that I do will fix his situation. The best I can hope for is to make him happy, but that really isn't what I'm good at. Today I went to see him, to drop off some nicer clothes (he managed to get a "date" with a lady he met at church and was kinda excited about it). He was on his bed when I got there. He had postponed the date because we didn't get him his meds today. He came out on the patio to hang out with me, lit up a cigarette, and smoked about half of it before going back in and throwing up. He told me about his crappy day, and I was interested to hear it, but I only said "yeah" and "huh", because I can't think of anything at all to tell him. I just want him to know that he isn't alone. He told me he wanted to get back in bed, and I said I'd talk to him later, and went back to the car and tried not to cry about it.
Life sucks, but we're all in this together. I'm becoming increasingly convinced: realizing that is what separates God's servants from atheists, and Christians from Pharisees.
I have saved up exactly zero dollars for my wedding. Chowon knows where my priorities are, and although I think she wouldn't like the idea of me not having money, she would agree that showing love to this person (and a few others I've been hanging with off and on) takes precedence over me. God is at the center of our wedding, and he will provide for us. I'm sure of it.
"Don't you know who you're dealing with?"
I don't know how to be optimally loving. I have a friend who is dying of cancer. He'll probably last a few more weeks, but his condition is getting to be unbearable for him, and even with my help we aren't managing the funds to pay for his medicine (which is mostly just stuff to help him keep food down, and a mild pain killer). He found some lady who buys his meds in Mexico and sells them in the states for half of US prices, but it's still $60/day for the bundle. He invited another homeless guy to live with him, which turned out to be a great idea because he can't manage himself outside for very long anymore without puking, which means he relies on the other guy to make rent in their extended stay hotel room.
As far as I know, he has no living relatives who are interested in him. He's probably in his 60s, and has never been married. He had a house he was renting, but that burned down not more than a few weeks ago. From what I can tell, the landlord isn't making him pay for it (not that he could either). He had a friend who used to help him out by purchasing some sort of rugged storage container that he makes. Since discovering that he only had a few months left to live, he'd sold his friend several containers on credit, hoping that his friend's good faith would help pay for medicine. The bill is $500, and his friend isn't going to pay. His friend fully intends to allow him to die suffering in order to avoid paying that money. He lost the draw for military benefits, but he has more than enough characteristic scars, stories, and legitimate info to prove his veterancy (as far as I'm concerned. You can be skeptical, but you'd be wrong).
He's got a really sweet personality, but sometimes he makes off color remarks about Vietnamese people. He found out I had a Korean fiance and then asked me if I was offended by his racism toward Vietnamese people (not in those words). I told him that there's nothing wrong with not liking someone as long as you aren't hurting anyone. He says he's fine with Koreans. lol. He believes in God, but he's not very well versed in doctrine... not that it matters; he get's the point, and his sins are forgiven. He's always telling me about how I must have great karma. I haven't corrected him about that. I figure it isn't worth it to try and talk him into an accurate view of God. I don't even have an accurate view of God. All that matters is that he knows God loves him. His roommate is trying to talk him into getting a weed card. I admit that I think it would be a good thing for him, but he is militantly opposed to any drugs or alcohol (except tobacco apparently), and I can respect that.
I'm totally lost for this guy. I can't give him anything that will help him. Nothing at all that I do will fix his situation. The best I can hope for is to make him happy, but that really isn't what I'm good at. Today I went to see him, to drop off some nicer clothes (he managed to get a "date" with a lady he met at church and was kinda excited about it). He was on his bed when I got there. He had postponed the date because we didn't get him his meds today. He came out on the patio to hang out with me, lit up a cigarette, and smoked about half of it before going back in and throwing up. He told me about his crappy day, and I was interested to hear it, but I only said "yeah" and "huh", because I can't think of anything at all to tell him. I just want him to know that he isn't alone. He told me he wanted to get back in bed, and I said I'd talk to him later, and went back to the car and tried not to cry about it.
Life sucks, but we're all in this together. I'm becoming increasingly convinced: realizing that is what separates God's servants from atheists, and Christians from Pharisees.
I have saved up exactly zero dollars for my wedding. Chowon knows where my priorities are, and although I think she wouldn't like the idea of me not having money, she would agree that showing love to this person (and a few others I've been hanging with off and on) takes precedence over me. God is at the center of our wedding, and he will provide for us. I'm sure of it.
"Don't you know who you're dealing with?"
Friday, July 18, 2014
Writing about how I don't know how to write about what I want to write about having to write about seems to have helped me to remember how much I like writing about stuff. I saw a commercial for the movie Lucy. On one hand, it has Morgan Freeman's voice in it... on the other hand, I already know what the plot is gonna be... it's probably gonna have some cool graphics... ... ... I don't have money to waste on movies.
I finally decided on a game engine for that game I was gonna make. It's not that I took forever because I was thinking carefully about it. I simply wasn't looking for one. I still need to finish my plot and character flowchart. I'm gonna use Unity. Oh well.
"I'm a fire breathing tourist with five (count 'em) faces drawn on my belly."
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
*blaaaah*
I've been dying to get back to that series I was writing before, but [brace for excuses] I've just been too tired, and work is mentally draining, and even on the weekends I don't feel like thinking hard, and Chowon and I haven't been talking much and she is my best "primary" outlet, which would otherwise allow me to reach a state of emotional relaxedness conducive to self development. Like, before I can cook my meal and eat it, I have to go to the grocery store and stock my kitchen -- before I can put any focus on self-development, I have to get all my baggage out of the way. If a spring is under a lot of stress to begin with, it's not gonna be very springy when you bounce stuff on it; if you destress it first, then it can bounce better.
This blog is kindof like a place where I can get baggage out of the way, but these days it's not the kind of baggage that I need to talk about to get off my chest. It's more like, I have been focusing at 70-95% (oscillatory) all day, and I need to give my CPU a break before it melts.
I'd really like to finish the series, though...
Oh well. I wanna give a shout-out to this post. I think it's right on the money.
http://lindsayleighbentley.com/2014/06/30/i-am-ryland-the-story-of-a-male-identifying-little-girl-who-didnt-transition/
When I was a kid, (not exaggerating at all, ask my mom), I would assert for weeks at a time that the sky was green, the grass was blue, that I was king of the insects, and that I was able to interpret bee language and have regular conversation with ant hills. My parents would double check me to make sure I knew the truth, and then they would just play along with me. As long as I knew the truth, it wasn't a big deal. Nowadays I'm scared poopless of bugs, but that's beside the point.
The point is it doesn't matter what you say about yourself when you're 5 years old. Parents ought to give their kids the honest and consistent truth until they get old enough to grasp the nature of people and the world around them, and then make their own decisions (whether that be for or against reality).
Ok, now for my bigoted, horrible, white Christian male opinion. Nobody listen, please. Everyone disregard me because this opinion is officially worthless to the world as soon as my skin color and physical gender are taken into consideration (*cough cough insovietrussiaracismhatesyou cough*).
In the case of transgender, we really need to come up with new gender terms to differentiate physical gender and emotional gender. If that clarification isn't made, and if we teach kids that by saying they're [opposite gender from reality] they become that, then we're teaching our kids to practice illogical thinking. If you only have male parts, then you are decidedly not a female physically. However, for the sake of argument, suppose you can have male parts and be a female psychologically. In that case, for a five year old, the parents shouldn't tell the male kid, "ok, you're a girl." because a girl has female parts, and a male has male parts, and you're gonna really confuse that kid when he gets older if you don't give the kid a sex change pre-puberty, which is a dangerous procedure and has potential to cause hormonal imbalances that negatively affect your cognitive functions during your entire life. Our English language wasn't necessarily built with normalization of perverts and sexual deviants in mind, so as that sort of thing becomes normalized we should at least develop new terms to avoid confusion.
"we came down from the north;
blue hands and a torch.
we share our mother's health.
it is what we've been dealt."
I've been dying to get back to that series I was writing before, but [brace for excuses] I've just been too tired, and work is mentally draining, and even on the weekends I don't feel like thinking hard, and Chowon and I haven't been talking much and she is my best "primary" outlet, which would otherwise allow me to reach a state of emotional relaxedness conducive to self development. Like, before I can cook my meal and eat it, I have to go to the grocery store and stock my kitchen -- before I can put any focus on self-development, I have to get all my baggage out of the way. If a spring is under a lot of stress to begin with, it's not gonna be very springy when you bounce stuff on it; if you destress it first, then it can bounce better.
This blog is kindof like a place where I can get baggage out of the way, but these days it's not the kind of baggage that I need to talk about to get off my chest. It's more like, I have been focusing at 70-95% (oscillatory) all day, and I need to give my CPU a break before it melts.
I'd really like to finish the series, though...
Oh well. I wanna give a shout-out to this post. I think it's right on the money.
http://lindsayleighbentley.com/2014/06/30/i-am-ryland-the-story-of-a-male-identifying-little-girl-who-didnt-transition/
When I was a kid, (not exaggerating at all, ask my mom), I would assert for weeks at a time that the sky was green, the grass was blue, that I was king of the insects, and that I was able to interpret bee language and have regular conversation with ant hills. My parents would double check me to make sure I knew the truth, and then they would just play along with me. As long as I knew the truth, it wasn't a big deal. Nowadays I'm scared poopless of bugs, but that's beside the point.
The point is it doesn't matter what you say about yourself when you're 5 years old. Parents ought to give their kids the honest and consistent truth until they get old enough to grasp the nature of people and the world around them, and then make their own decisions (whether that be for or against reality).
Ok, now for my bigoted, horrible, white Christian male opinion. Nobody listen, please. Everyone disregard me because this opinion is officially worthless to the world as soon as my skin color and physical gender are taken into consideration (*cough cough insovietrussiaracismhatesyou cough*).
In the case of transgender, we really need to come up with new gender terms to differentiate physical gender and emotional gender. If that clarification isn't made, and if we teach kids that by saying they're [opposite gender from reality] they become that, then we're teaching our kids to practice illogical thinking. If you only have male parts, then you are decidedly not a female physically. However, for the sake of argument, suppose you can have male parts and be a female psychologically. In that case, for a five year old, the parents shouldn't tell the male kid, "ok, you're a girl." because a girl has female parts, and a male has male parts, and you're gonna really confuse that kid when he gets older if you don't give the kid a sex change pre-puberty, which is a dangerous procedure and has potential to cause hormonal imbalances that negatively affect your cognitive functions during your entire life. Our English language wasn't necessarily built with normalization of perverts and sexual deviants in mind, so as that sort of thing becomes normalized we should at least develop new terms to avoid confusion.
"we came down from the north;
blue hands and a torch.
we share our mother's health.
it is what we've been dealt."
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