What does it take to really listen to someone?
Is it ever not-OK to apologize?

Why would I build such tall and fragile walls?

I think I'm going to look forward to the Skype appointment most each week. I keep thinking I say really stupid stuff, and we always leave early.

I've ruled out a bunch of people, and now we're down to three (not including me).

I plan to go to bed early tonight, but I don't know if it's gonna happen.

Read up on the HBwhatever Wikileaks attacks. Crazy~~~~~~

I have to write this research argument by Friday. I don't like arguing and I don't like research. I wish I could limit my school to a book of nothing but logically successive formulas and a book of equations that need solving. Sometimes I wish I was a farmer with a family.. Our kids could help out with the work. We don't really need money, because our land has trees for us to build our house, a vegetable garden to get veggies, some apple trees, a few chickens.. Whatever we want outside of that can be gained by selling our extra and saving the money. ... Oh, and we have a piano.

Unfortunately, I'm single, and I don't know a thing about farming. If I could raise a garden out of the ground by solving formulas.... well.... that would be kindof awesome.

Idk. I'm rambling. This is stupid. I'm done. Goodnight.

"In a moment of weakness"

Yeah, another late night.

I got 1st for sparring in the Karate tournament today, and 2nd for Kata. I'm mighty proud.

I'm also really tired. Right now, I really miss Chowon. I ate a Korean cookie, and it made me feel like I was in the Korean dorms again for a second.

Not much else to talk about.

"This door is locked, right?"

It's late and I have to wake up at 9:00AM tomorrow, so I'm not gonna blog much tonight.

Tomorrow is the tournament. Today was fun. I hope I find time for homework tomorrow. Things are looking grim in that respect.

Sometimes I wonder if Shane is passive aggressive or playfully mean. I'm sure he means well. It can be frustrating sometimes when I don't have a firm grasp on his intentions. He's been much more clear lately. I noticed I have that problem with one or two people, so I think it's just me being oblivious. I'm gonna try to fix it.

Gabrielle wants to watch a movie with me over spring break, and my parents are trying to play match maker. I hope nothing happens so that I will have to defend our emotional distance from (what seems to be) an inexorable circumstance. ... Well, on the other hand, even though she is the antagonist (who fights for the better cause) in this situation, she has always been better at actively preserving physical distance. Maybe it will boil down to a battle between me and myself.

I'm tired. I'm gonna go get Tyler A. to do Bible study with me.

"Every time I think about it I feel completely helpless."

Time to update! I took a good walk today. Sometimes conversation is really good, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes I worry that I must come across as super awkward to some people and ok to others. I am beginning to really like some of the freshmen. Next year, though, is going to be scary all the same.

This blog should be short. It's time for bed.

"Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us."

Not lots happened today... Or at least not lots worth talking about. The way the other guy in my EPM team looks at B I can tell he likes her, and I know he knows her better than I do. In the past, she's walked away from him to talk to me, but I don't know if I want to be a part of that kind of drama until I know more about it. I didn't find out if she plays piano or not. I'll just give him a fair shot and give myself more time. I'll just keep taking things as they come to me and try not to worry about tomorrow.... I'm a little worried about tomorrow.

I have a speech to deliver. I wrote it today, but I have to make notecards tomorrow before class if I can. We'll see what happens^^ I'm the last one to present. Maybe I can touch it up before I go.

"Sometimes unexplainable things happen around me. Not because of anything supernatural; it's because I'm crazy."

My disposition today has been good. The EPM meeting went really long leaving me with not enough time to get done with my outline and differential equations together. However, my differential equations prof accepts late work sometimes. I just have to get cash tomorrow and come up with something to ask B to do with me. Maybe she plays piano and we can do that together^^ ...you know, If she plays piano, it's decision made for me (until I get rejected.. although I've heard there's some virtue to persistence. maybe I'll get rejected twice and then not try again for at least a year. I haven't decided on a policy for myself for that yet... --topic escapes parenthesis-- I've got rules set for myself with most other things having to do with relationships. Like, I haven't written these down or anything, but I'm pretty sure most of them can be found in a social etiquette book somewhere because they are usually issues of politeness and common sense that I somehow missed in development but learned the hard way. Idk. Whatever

I wrote Corey Ross an email saying everything I wanted to say about Q4. I'm quite pleased with his response, but actions speak louder than words... and words speak louder than emails, so lets see what actually happens.

"I'm in love with something intangible.
I'll be eternally complete.
I'll never be alone.
I'll never be content."

I'm so tired. It's so cloudy in the mornings, like my head. I just want to sleep all day. I woke up for church today, and it turned out well.

I want a hug and a nap and like 5 hours of free time to sit in front of an in-tune piano with nobody listening except me and God.

I'm gonna wash my face, swish some mouthwash, and go to sleep.

"Those who tell the truth shall die. Those who tell the truth shall live forever."