Today was a productive day. I did some EPM, and I got a haircut, and I found out my money hasn't been refunded yet.

Ben's gonna help me pay for the date tomorrow, and I'm gonna pretend it was me, because I do fully intend to pay him back when I get my money. The school is a little late getting it to me afaict, so I'm gonna bicker to them about it on Monday and hope I can get some cash at least.

My valentine can make it to the date tomorrow^^ I'm not sure what to make of that. I don't really want to get into the details on my blog. Ian has been prying to find out who it is. All he's gotten out of me is she might be Asian. Word will get around eventually, but I don't want gossip about it. It's nothing at all, and so the last thing we need is LeTourneau gossip. This place has potential to become death itself if I become part of that tree of rumors and gossip and double talk. I mean, I already participate a little, but I really do try to minimize if not eliminate that. I don't want to go through another Dugway........

I have been thinking about how I seem to dislike a place more and more as I am in it, until around the 3 year mark it usually becomes hardly bearable. I really hope that doesn't happen here. I wonder what will happen when I have to stay somewhere for four years. I am a bit worried. I wonder if I will be able to commit to a long term, short-distance relationship when the time comes for that. I wonder if I will be doomed to travel forever to keep my sanity. I wonder if God put this in my heart for a reason. I wonder if I will be tied down by a relationship like Dan and Jess have become. I wonder if I will ever meet someone willing to travel with me...

"But to see the light and to feel the rays... that was always back and forth."

Took a nap earlier while my clothes were in the wash and now I'm not sure if I'm tired enough to get back to sleep.

Predators is playing in the lobby now. I got all my laundry. maybe I'll finish this movie before going to bed for good. I have a big day tomorrow. I need to find a ride to Walmart and get a haircut, and I need to work with my EPM team for three hours :(

I wonder if I'll be able to get that ride after 5. I hope so. I'm sure I can ask Brendan for a ride if I have to.

I've got lots of homework to do this weekend, too. Mostly Differential Equations. I think I might have some reading for Speech, and maybe something for English. Idk. I'm not too worried about English Comp. I can snap out a paper pretty fast if I have to.

This movie is coming to a close. I'm really hungry..... Tyler A. said something about letting me have cookies earlier, but then he disappeared from the dorm. I wonder what he's doing now... Hanging out with that girl he likes, I imagine.

"your two eyes"

Today I was pretty much tired all day. I don't remember much of it, except having Gabbi's email open all day and not responding to it until midnight.

I wanted to get to bed much earlier, but the guys kept me up doing stuff.

I asked a girl to be my valentine today and she accepted, but then she was pretty much like, "I'll be your valentine, but you should know this isn't going to go anywhere". It kinda made me sad, but I should've seen it coming.

Shane just came in. I was meaning to go to bed, but I think he's gonna try to talk to me. It's cool. I like talking to him and all, but I might have to tell him not tonight.
....
Well, it's late so I'm gonna go to sleep now. Night^^

"There's a beautiful sound which I will never hear."

Talk is pretty intense tonight. It's 1:47, which is bad news, but the talk is so good. I'm telling stories that *nobody* knows. And so is everyone here, I guess....


Anyway, I just wanted to get a blog in.

Night.

"Too bad. Somebody else got this deal."

The superbowl was ok. There were only like 5 commercials that I particularly liked, and the half-time show was nothing short of disappointing. Although Slash was pretty cool, and there was one other artist who did alright.

Oh, so negative. I've been blogging about negative things for a while now. Well, Tyler's been on my heart lately....

I messed up with my Skype appointment. I thought for some reason that Korean time was later than American time, when, in fact, it is the opposite. 초완 cleared up my confusion and things are better now. I feel really bad about that mistake. I wonder how long she waited for me...

I have an essay due on the 9th that I have only written a little bit on. After talking to the prof about it, I know how he expects me to expand my paragraphs and whatever, but I can't think of any good BS to write down. I usually don't have that kind of writers block for essays. ... It's like whenever I start thinking of my essay topic and English class my BS engine just stops.

I need to write a survey to have my dorm take for part of my essay research. I'll do it tomorrow. I haven't practiced piano at all this week. I will do that also tomorrow.

"I am waiting for your reply"

Oh sleep. There's never enough. Not much to blog about today. I'm a coward and I'm a little ashamed of it, but nobody really knows what I'm talking about -- or maybe you do, but whatever. I guess it's just one of those things that might never be the way I want it to be.

Took a walk with one of the freshmen. It was nice getting to know him more. He's a great guy, but I have to admit he turns on his creep whenever girls are around (at least from what I've seen.) Like, he'd probably have no problems with any girl on campus if he was more like himself around them. Then again, he recently got a girlfriend from back home. The way it's told, she randomly said "yes" when he (jokingly) asking her out via text message. Me and some of the guys around call her his phone girlfriend. Idk, he's super-cool most of the time. I like him a lot.

Tyler is kinda shook up about Dana (his ex) recently. He was ok with her for a while, and he is still kinda, because he legitimately really liked and respected her. He just realized that he couldn't make it work with some major part of her personality. Nothing for her to feel bad about or anything, I guess that's just the way it goes sometimes... anyway. Trish and Scott had parking tickets at the Super Bowl and invited Tyler. Tyler wasn't planning on going anyway, because he only watches the Super Bowl for the commercials and he thought it might be a bit awkward with Dana there. Dana, not knowing Tyler's decision, told Trisha to tell Scott (Trisha is Scott's girlfriend) to uninvite him and Scott did it.
I thought that Dana was ok with Tyler and that they would naturally try to minimize the awkwardness by "moving on" emotionally, (as was the case with Tyler) but I guess not. Tyler was kindof hurt because he is close with Scott. Scott feels torn between his girlfriend and his friend because Dana and Trish are close. I'd like to hear Dana's side of the story, because I'm convinced that girls "do" use some kind of logic for most of their decisions; it's just logic based on things written between lines, and as far as I can tell.... sometimes there's nothing written there and they read it anyway. I know Tyler is also a little bothered by how fast Dana seems to be moving on to this new guy whatsisface....
I really like Tyler and I don't have any problems with Dana so far. I just hope that they can work things out so Tyler won't have any emotional burdens holding him down. Maybe I don't know the whole story.... Idk. There's little or nothing I can do except listen to Tyler. I'm sure he knows he can always come to my room to vent.

"They need to learn theory just like the rest of us!!!"

So CHD tripped out today. Yeah, I suppose we might have taken things a little too far picking on him... because he's not really normal... And we apologized for it. Here's how it went down:

We're playin Smash Bros on the GC and CHD walks in excited about how he could really use the game. Well, we finished the round we were playing, and then before CHD had a chance to join I quickly started another one and said "Who did that? --etc." I kinda half-planned to quit the round right away, but the other guys who were playing before went along with it, so I continued playing. CHD wasn't happy, but he sat through it anyway. When the round was over, Swim started the next one right away and called it: "who did that?!". CHD is pretty gullible. He blamed Batch... or was it Chris who was playing with us?... I don't remember... well, someone quit the round, and I quickly started one more and called it one more time: "who keeps doing that?!". CHD charged me and grabbed the controller. I didn't let go, but I realize now that I should have. He struggled for a few seconds and then just grabbed the cord and yanked it. It's a lucky thing I was holding it by the upper end of the cord. The cord snapped in two, but didn't come out of the controller. We spliced it after dinner and it still works. CHD went into his room, we apologized to him and I haven't seen him since. It was a little out of hand, but it was hilarious. I really should be nicer to him. We all keep saying we need to stop that kind of picking, but it doesn't really stop. Tt's kindof classic bullying, but we usually stop before he loses it, and he's fine afterward.. That's no excuse... The guy is chronically clueless, and really kindof hilarious to watch when he's interacting with others, but nearly unbearable when he focuses his attention on you... That's not a good excuse either.

Shane threatened to "ground" the dorm from GC for a while (he was dead serious). I asked him what he thought he could do, and he said maybe throw the thing away. I understand throwing something away if it's causing declension, but it usually brings us together in the lobby. If he tries to take it from everyone then he'll just have a dorm that's angry with him and we'll have one less thing to do in Middle-of-Nothing-Longview-TX.

Shane is being really grumpy lately. He keeps telling me to do stuff, like go to bed at 8 on Friday night so he can get to work in the morning on Sat. I understand where he's coming from.. (this is a True story, really).. But, well, first, I'm not gonna do that because it's Friday night.. and anyway I'm usually careful to be quiet when he's sleeping and stuff... But a lot of it is he doesn't ask politely or seriously. It's one thing to be serious and polite, but he is one or the other. If he's polite he seems like he's not serious. If he's serious he's rude. I can't tell what he wants until he's angry sometimes... there are other examples too, usually having to do with sleep. We wake up at the same time in the morning, but he goes to bed much earlier than me.

I guess these things singularly wouldn't normally cause me to question myself, but Shane being frustrated with me and me feeling bad about picking on CHD at the same time is making me wonder if there's a defect in my personality that needs my attention.... I trust the people here to call me out if I'm doing something wrong. I guess a good place to start would be the way I treat CHD.

"I saw the truth today speaking with the lie."