I had a dream last night that I took Chowon to a jewelry store to get her fitted with a ring. We went to the first store, and the shopkeeper left and said he'd be back, but didn't come back, so we left. At the second store, I stepped out for a moment because I heard something crash outside and I wanted to check it out. I didn't see anything, so I came back inside.
There I found out that the shopkeeper was recommending a really expensive piece of jewelry to Chowon by saying it would help her fit in in the U.S.. I got so mad at that shopkeeper for using that to sell stuff to Chowon. I said something to the shopkeeper, bought the piece for Chowon, and then left to avoid making a scene. Before we got to the third jewelry store, the city was overrun by robots and Chowon and I were swept away by some kind of space militia. The rest of the dream was awesome robot fighting action.

I don't have an interpretation for this dream. It was just a fun dream.

Today I am helping with card readers. I guess I'd better get onto my morning stuff so I won't be late.

"If I turn right at the corner, I may see the rough road you have been down. If I turn left, I may see all the stones you have thrown."

"A self-ordained professor's tongue,

Too serious to fool,

Spouted out that liberty

Is just equality in school.

'Equality,' I spoke the word

As if a wedding vow

...

In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand

At the mongrel dogs who teach

Fearing not that I'd become my enemy

In the instant that I preach

My pathway led by confusion boats

Mutiny from stern to bow

...

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats

Too noble to neglect

Deceived me into thinking

I had something to protect

Good and bad, I defined these terms

Quite clear, no doubt, some how,

Ah but I was so much older then

I'm younger than that now."

Cheers today to Bob Dylan, who knew that grey areas seem to widen as you get older, but that failure to know what you believe indicates little wisdom and little backbone.

Sena is here! I'm so glad I got to see her and Sam.

I miss Chowon :/

Well, I have a lot of homework to do.

...

Erg... I'm gonna be up much later than I intended.

Sometimes I am suddenly struck with this feeling, like I have a vision of a good future, but that I might never achieve it... like everything I love is on a track next to me, and if I stop running or slow down for a minute I'll lose it all.

This is the future I want:
- A job that pays the bills for my family to live somewhere safe.
-- I want to be a valuable asset to my company, but I never want to reach the top. I want to sit in one area of the company until I know it well and have seen a few projects succeed, then I want to move somewhere where I can learn another aspect of the company or product development. I'd like to have bosses that are happy with my performance, or better yet, gaining great success off my performance while I sit happily under them; and happily there have freedom to roam departments and learn a company inside and out.
- A wife who supports me and says she loves me when I leave
-- I want to be the husband who helps wash dishes and take out the trash, and then when I am done I want to put the kids to bed, knock out whatever tax crap has to be done, and then snuggle.
- Kids who give me hugs when I return home and kisses before bed
-- I want to raise my kids approximately the way I was raised. I want to make sure they feel secure and loved, and I want to help them to understand the value of wisdom.
- A church family who prays with me
-- I intend to give my tithe and help out where I can. I know I can't be a part of every mission the church attacks, but I intend to back them however I can. I think my gift is prayer, and I hope to pray for lots of people.

"Like a 'Happy Birthday' on a Thursday."

So today I was reading through my "Business for Engineers" book and realized that I don't know what "critical thinking" means. I hear it all the time: "Critical Thinking"...  And all I have are context clues as to the definition -- my best guess is the following definition:

To really think about something and try to understand it.

...

Well, I don't know what it means to "really think" if it isn't what humans do all the time, and I thought that the whole point of all schooling was to try to understand concepts and ideas. So, why all the fuss about "critical thinking skills"? Why not just call it "the common ability of humans to learn"?

That said, I'll now search Google for "define:critical thinking"... The highlighted result is to a Wikipedia article on critical thinking. The article has 4 bulleted definitions:

• "reasonable reflective thinking focused on deciding what to believe or do"^{[3][page needed]}
• "the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action"^{[4][page needed]}
• "purposeful, self-regulatory judgment which results in interpretation, analysis, evaluation, and inference, as well as explanation of the evidential, conceptual, methodological, criteriological, or contextual considerations upon which that judgment is based"^[5]
• " includes a commitment to using reason in the formulation of our beliefs"^[6]

My knee-jerk response to the first bullet is: "You mean the average person doesn't do this?!" But then I read the second, third, and fourth definitions and the word which stands out to me is "skillfully", (no, not "criteriological", although I will be looking that word up promptly). What skill is needed to use judgement? Hmmm.... That question itself may be indicative of my lack of judgement skill. Reading on, the definition of critical thinking is broadened to include the use of morals. I suppose more thought on it is required. I don't have time for it now.... if all these words were applicable to the paper I'm supposed to be writing, I'd be done with the paper.

Anyway, my book says I can practice critical thinking by doing problems at the end of each chapter. Lets see if those questions produce any significant lifestyle changes meriting the description "use of critical thought".

"They can't govern my peace."

Winter has ended and school has started again. Winter break was much too fast, but something I wish they'd do at school is open the dorms a little earlier and close them a little later. It's like, spend 9 hours on a plane to get to school on the day dorms open, go to sleep, wake up, and then go to class. I wish I had more time to unpack. Also, leaving at the end of a semester would be much easier if I had like 2 or 3 days after finals to pack up relaxedly...

Oh well. Classes this semester are freakin me out. I don't usually like chemistry or economics classes (at least... I didn't in highschool), but I'm gonna enjoy these classes... because... just because. It's gonna be great.

...............................

Ok, I'm back from the Q&A for microcomputers. I'm gonna have to bust my butt on this class. Looks like the way it's gonna be is bringing my laptop to the lab every day after classes. Please pray for my diligence.


I s'pose I could have something to say about winter... It was great. Just awesome. I had a great time with Chowon; my brother and his wife were awesome hosts; all the family relations were positive; I got to relax a lot. Absolutely great.

"Don't buy anything from Ass Man."

I wrote this poem just now. Had a stroke of inspiration and couldn't help myself. I think I'm the next Walt Whitman. 

the trees are...

green like my sweater

yellow like my grandpa's teeth

orange like a burning house

pink like the eyes of every kid in the pool

red like your blood

brown like poop

that's right

poop

Pretty good, huh? I'm diggin the free verse style right now. You know what else should be free? Coffee.

Speaking of free, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving, all. This is a short [incomplete] list of stuff I'm thankful for (in order of increasing textual length using the blog input font):

life

God

food

blogs

piano

music

family

shelter

school

friends

Nutella

literacy

Chowon

the Bible

and more!

computers

notebooks

logic/reason

Speer Chapel

feelings/emotions

beauty(in general)

Strong Bad's Time Machine

Hope you all have a great weekend. Feel free to let me know what you're thankful for. If your list is as long as mine, you can bet I won't be reading/listening for most of it.

"We are getting gas; we're giving spare change to the homeless; we are watching television; we are not watching the signs."

I'm in such a bad mood lately. I really don't know what it is, but I've noticed it for the past like 3 or 4 days.

I'm having a hard time telling the difference between wisdom and cynicism. I'm having a hard time determining my place in my environment. I'm struggling to determine what is acceptable.

For some reason I can no longer interpret my friends' actions easily. Nothing is serious or straightforward, everything is sarcastic, nothing is positive, everything is a waste of time and energy. I want to talk to someone who tells me their feelings openly and straightforwardly so that I don't have to guess. I want to have a simple friendship. I want a place where I can go and watch a beautiful view without interruption -- and a friend who can sit there with me, drink soda, and read a book or simply know that God is God, without being worried about entertaining each other or thinking "is this person bored or unhappy?"

I wanna sit on the side of a mountain and quietly watch clouds for a couple hours without wondering what homework is due.

I wanna go to work and receive simple and clear instructions from my boss without sarcasm from my coworkers. Am I naive and oblivious, or are they not serious? I honestly don't know these days. Who am I supposed to be at LeTourneau? What is expected of me as a person?

It would be much easier if people treated me as the person who they wanted me to be, so I would know exactly the best way to act for the benefit of everyone... but am I asking to be manipulated? Can I be content with what I am given? Who am I, really?

I need a confidant... I need a break from LeTourneau... I need Christmas break...

"Scratches around the lock"

God is so good to me. When I am depressed, he lifts me up. When I need comfort, he's there for me.

Thanks, God...

I was thinking recently... I never really understood what people meant when they talked about "buckets" with reference to love in relationships. "Filling someone's bucket" always seemed like such a silly or childish concept to me. However, recently the idea took on meaning for me in a new way. Love can be tiring, because in a sense it is almost a direct attempt to give energy to the recipient. If it is not reciprocated, it can be draining -- but keeping a relationship alive is not as simple as just "reciprocating". Love requires some learning on the part of the donor, and needs to be given in the way that is best received by the recipient, or else the transfer of love will be inefficient. If it's done very well then you can end up with more love than when you started -- which is kindof incredible from a purely technical standpoint. Where does this extra love come from? Well... I actually wrote a semi-long examination of this subject, but then I realized... this isn't gonna work out unless the work is comprehensive... and a thorough explanation has already been written elsewhere... I guess the short answer is that we are able to love because God first loved us. For someone elses sake I'll keep the rest of this in a draft.

"I guess... I don't get to have a confidant anymore."