My disposition today has been good. The EPM meeting went really long leaving me with not enough time to get done with my outline and differential equations together. However, my differential equations prof accepts late work sometimes. I just have to get cash tomorrow and come up with something to ask B to do with me. Maybe she plays piano and we can do that together^^ ...you know, If she plays piano, it's decision made for me (until I get rejected.. although I've heard there's some virtue to persistence. maybe I'll get rejected twice and then not try again for at least a year. I haven't decided on a policy for myself for that yet... --topic escapes parenthesis-- I've got rules set for myself with most other things having to do with relationships. Like, I haven't written these down or anything, but I'm pretty sure most of them can be found in a social etiquette book somewhere because they are usually issues of politeness and common sense that I somehow missed in development but learned the hard way. Idk. Whatever

I wrote Corey Ross an email saying everything I wanted to say about Q4. I'm quite pleased with his response, but actions speak louder than words... and words speak louder than emails, so lets see what actually happens.

"I'm in love with something intangible.
I'll be eternally complete.
I'll never be alone.
I'll never be content."

I'm so tired. It's so cloudy in the mornings, like my head. I just want to sleep all day. I woke up for church today, and it turned out well.

I want a hug and a nap and like 5 hours of free time to sit in front of an in-tune piano with nobody listening except me and God.

I'm gonna wash my face, swish some mouthwash, and go to sleep.

"Those who tell the truth shall die. Those who tell the truth shall live forever."

Morgan made a good point the other night. I guess I should decide in advance. It's weird when I think about it. It's almost as if I intend to get to get to know someone for the first time and enter into a relationship with them at the same time.

There's always somewhere else I wish I was.

I found my "everything" notebook^^

I just got done on Skype with Chowon^^ I'm happy we are still in touch. To be honest, I'm really surprised how that turned out. There was sparse contact with a few of my friends in Korea after I left, but she was the only one who kept talking to me the whole time.

There's been some drama between the girls who used to hang out with our dorm and the guys who dated them. I am sometimes worried that it will make things awkward between me and the girls, who I consider to be extremely trustworthy friends, and would be hurt to lose them.

The guys want to do Bible studies now so I should leave.

"I had a rusty spade, but I'm not the fighting sort"

The quads are moving to the new dorm.

I have some homework due tomorrow and some homework due Sunday, but my teacher for tomorrow's class usually accepts late work, but I am probably trying her patience. I'm gonna do a lot of it tomorrow and turn it in if it's done, but get the rest this weekend like normal. Shane wants to get to bed early tonight or something like that, so I've got about an hour and a half to get this out of the way, get in a devo, and practice piano if I can. I haven't practiced with music in a few days because I lost my everything-notebook. I can rebuild it, but there were some cool notes, drawings, sheet music, and the blogs I wrote on that trip.

I'm a little bit worried about spring break. I have to make sure my ride is available and also I'm not sure what's going to happen this summer. I'm beginning to feel the pressure to get a major-related job. Piano is where I think I find the most solace lately. Tyler M. just came in and said he wants to play a game.... Piano might just have to wait until tomorrow...

"And I wish we had never gone stale"

It's time to do Differential Equations. Thought I'd blog first. I'm in love with this song right now:

No Hands (Jetplastica Remix) by Jetplastica

I don't like the lyrics at all, but the rhythm is great :D

Let's see if that works. No reason it oughtn't, right?

Today I drank coffee with that one girl. It went ok, kindof awkward, but she had another friend along who I didn't really know. Maybe we'll hang out again. Idk. I wonder what's going to happen with the other girl. This might be a good time to clarify that I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship with either of them. I'm just making friends and being open. The way I see it, I don't have enough time to really get to know them in just one semester, so I'm trying to arrange as much hang out as possible just to see where it goes. Idk.

Coming soon: Acid Pro!!!!!! XD

... I wish I was practicing piano now. I shouldn't be drinking this coffee.

"You mean like a connoisseur?"

Homework to do tomorrow. No homework due tomorrow.
Quiz tomorrow that I'm not too worried about

Not worrying much about things in general right now.

There's a razors edge and a few things seem to be balanced on it, but left or right... up or down... it's out of my control.. it's freeing in a nervous sort of way to realize that.

There's a minimal effort waiting on the other side of tonights sleep if I can get my hands on an envelope.... or some construction paper and tape....

There's a social game being played in a classic sense. I'm glad I'm not the type who dwells too much on the past... am I?

There's a piece of code hiding out there on the internet, and my flashlight can only illuminate so much at once.

What drives us toward division from tyranny is what divides us from the tyrannic, and what was lost from them can never be regained.

"Never sleep... never see the sky"

I did all my homework that I could think of today. I think I'm done^^

Spent most of the day in front of my computer doing Differential Equations. It was a good thing, because my date today had a lot to tell me, and she doesn't have a phone. She kept getting on and telling me "I can't make it tonight" "I can make it tonight after all" "I can't make it" "I can". Each time, I had to go talk to Ben, because he was my ride, and he was kinda doing me a favor letting me tag along as a double date, and also since my school money hadn't come in yet he was gonna spot me the bill and have me pay him back. It wasn't a good situation over all, but even worse so.
Finally, 30 minutes before we had to go, she comes on Facebook and tells me she can't make it. I told her it was all good.... I was really kinda brought down by that, though, because I had planned the date to be my reward for doing homework all day (for better or worse) haha.
Anyway, instead of going out, I went to Belcher to practice piano. The only good practice room had a couple in it, not playing piano. I went to MSC and there was a girl playing piano there for her boyfriend. I went to Spear Chapel and there was a guy in there doing work. I don't usually like practicing for an audience of people, so I hit the prayer room and talked to God for a while, hoping that the guy would leave so I could play. He didn't after 30 minutes, so I left. [but first found out that the New Testament Read-Through starts next Friday at 7:00PM]

I went to Dr. Graff's house, because last year he had grilled cheese sandwiches for the students each Sunday. I wanted to see if he was still doing that. The fence was locked, but a girl was walking at the same time as I arrived. She opened the fence for me and, in fact, lives with Dr. Graff's family this semester. They invited me in to eat, and she remembered me from last year. We had met once in the prayer room, maybe twice. She said she remembered my voice and my "aura". I remembered her as soon as she said something, because she has a unique smile. She was really happy about it, and I said we aught to get coffee sometime. She was up for it and invited Dr. Graff to come with us [?]. Well, Dr. Graff did exactly what I would do in his situation and evaluated me starting with the question: "what church do you attend". That's a test I failed, but I'm gonna start going to Church regularly next Sunday. He said he goes to Hope Fellowship, and I think some people in my dorm go there. ... Maybe I will too.

I guess it might sound weird saying he was "evaluating" me, but I'm like 99% sure he was, because my dad used to do that to guys who would come to see my sister. Dr. Graff got the same look on his face and tone in his voice that my dad used to, and he asked the same exact question that my dad always did. I mean, it's not like we're suddenly "interested" in each other or anything, but I'm sure Dr. Graff cares about the girl a lot, and she seemed pretty happy to see me again.

What does that mean happens next? Idk. I'm just gonna go with the flow. As long as I'm a gentleman in every case, and do my best to do what God would want me to do, I'm sure He'll lead me in the right direction.

"Was everyone ok?"