I wrote a non-rhyming poem during a break today. I haven't thought of a name for it yet. Maybe "Downtime".

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The vacuum in my mind
Is a symptom
Of the stillness in my hands
Catalyzing an internal conflict

Maybe this is how it will be
if I get what I'm asking for
Maybe I can't have contentment
because my desires are in conflict with my lot

God, take wrong desire from me!
What I want is not sinful
But it seems so far from righteous

God, open the door to peace
God, light the way to balance

I close my eyes and see a dove soaked in his brother's blood
I see cedar and hyssop brushed across an all-too-easy life
scarlet binding stress and sorrow together into great beauty
a series of short red stitches between two sides of eternity

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Everyone seems to have an opinion about what I would really enjoy. It's got me pretty confused about what I want for my future.

I'm so spoiled, and I hate it! I feel so stressed, but this is nothing compared with the hardships endured by Christ's followers before me, and they suffered for better causes! What will I do when life really becomes difficult? What will I do in the face of real hardship? But is real hardship the only way to escape being spoiled? How can I be sanctified from this pettiness?

Realism demands optimism given my current circumstances.

It proves to me that I can only endure the things which God enables me to endure. My strength is completely derivative, and it betters me to keep that in mind.

"It was a lucky find."