Friday, July 21, 2017

Here's that poem I mentioned. I hesitated to post this because I wanted to change it, but after considering the issue, I think it should remain as it is, because it reflects my state at the time when I wrote it.

"
My earthly blessings, as numerous as the grains
of sand, had helped me to build a tall fortress.

and just like grains of sand,
even now, they are washing away.

But the colors, blue and white, and the
warmth of the sun had shut my eyes to it.

A mighty oak took root there, cracking the
tiny island of my trust and weakness.

Like a shade of black in a dream about nothing
its value was beyond my understanding.

The angels looked down on me and wondered
how I, being unaware of my purpose, could exist

and why The Most High God, The LORD of Everything
would fall on his knees and beg me to repent

They watched the branches of the tree spread high and far,
and the cool shade woke me and gave me comfort

The roots pushed holes out into the surrounding nothingness
and let in a rush of current which I feared would cause me to disintegrate

because we can't even love, but our broken affection is worth more
to God, who is the fabric of existence, than life itself

so my body waned and my heart overflowed
and I died to become more alive
"

Whew, so I actually ended up having to retype it here just because of the nature of things (rather than just copy/pasting it). I really dislike going back over my old creative works -- but I resisted the urge to change it. Oh well. It's here; it's preserved.

"Yes, I did forget to put a quote at the end of this one"

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Found an old poem on one of my external hard drives. I found it while I was browsing around through my old school files on the drive, waiting for Chowon to come sit down so that we could watch a show together. We don't have an ISP anymore, since we have unlimited data with tethering, and I was too lazy to tether my phone at that moment, so I didn't post it last night. My plan is maybe to post it tonight. It's called "the Righteous and the Weary" (although, to be honest, I never really liked that name for this poem). I have some comments on the style of the poem and why I don't like certain parts of it, but I'm going to hold myself back from saying any of that in hopes that nobody else will notice the same issues.

A couple of my friends who are looking for jobs have expressed an interest in Vertech. I am coming to terms with the idea that I don't feel like I know anyone very well, so I'm recommending a couple of these friends of mine based on my general impression that they are honest, hard working Christians. I'm a firm believer in the Christian ethic, and so I'm inclined to trust that people with solid theology and a true belief in Jesus Christ will also be great employees... but am I willing to stake my name on that? I guess so, because my name is nothing at all anyway, and God's name is the one which should increase. But if I give my own name based on my trust that God's name will not be abused, then do I defame God if I am wrong? Or would that be me taking responsibility for someone else defaming God and me simultaneously? Is it unwise? Certainly it is.

Why can't the world be simple? Why can't I just trust that people are what they say they are? But, how can I expect that kind of straight-forwardness when I myself have the question, "what am I?" so close to the tip of my tongue? If I don't understand my own ontological essence, how can I expect to understand anyone else's?

What is the worst case scenario... that these people get hired and then totally suck at their jobs, and my boss no longer trusts me as a judge of people. Worse than that, that my company's leadership no longer trusts Christians as honest and hard workers in general.

Now, that said, I'm not recommending just anyone who says "I'm Christian". It's more like I'm recommending anyone who says "I'm Calvinist" (but that's still a poor description of the facts by far). It's more like I'm recommending people who I know to be solid Christians, who attend my church and are actively involved in the ministries there.

Despite my instinctive repulsion at my perceived lack of epistemological warrant for these recommendations, I actually feel very comfortable with the situation.

"No," replied Weston, "it's the Earth."

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

While I'm waiting for some code to run, I wanted to drop a quick post about the song I linked to (from spotify) yesterday. I went back and listened to the full album, and I realized that some of the lyrics are rather foul -- so my apologies to any folks who did that and were surprised by it.

In any case, I still like the song I posted.

Looks like there's a chance that I'll be doing a project for [RETRACTED] in the near future. That's pretty exciting. Let's pray for God's will to be done in it.


EDIT

This code is taking longer than I expected. I'm gonna take a little more time.

So, I found a service that turns blogs into books. I think that'd be a cool thing to do with my blog, since I've had it for nearly 8 years, (although I've been blogging for a little over 15 years, I think...). The issue there is that there wouldn't be much value in the book as it is. Therefore, I think I might introduce a little bit of political commentary into the blog from time to time. That way, if I ever decide to put it in print, I can put it into a time capsule and bury it, and then people several years from now can read my writings and talk about "Historian Zac Slade, who provides us with a valuable insight into certain perspectives of his day"

After all, I'm not certain that anyone paid Eusebius or Josephus for their works, but we definitely thank them for it now.

The code is about 80% done....

I'm trying to pull 3.5 months of hourly data from 605 meters at a solar field, and then I have to wait for this python front-end to make a csv for me. It's not a quick process.

...

It's done! Back to work!

Monday, July 17, 2017

Don't know if I've posted this before, but I'm really feelin this tune out here in AZ:

....

Can't find a youtube video that just has the song I wanted to post. A spotify link will have to do.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2vg1UxcczdQScP010LlHa4


....but I really wanted to post a video of some good music on this one....

Here's an old favorite:



That brings back memories. I've been listening to my old "dump" playlist, where I put cool songs that didn't fit nicely in my other playlists. Both of the above songs were in there, but the Song of Four Seasons has been taken off of Spotify, so it stood out to me as I was skimming the list.

Speaking of memories... these days I sometimes catch myself thinking about what life would have been like if I wasn't such an idiot when I was younger. What a beautiful alternate present and future I can paint in my mind, and what a futile exercise.

There is a chance that I'll be relocated to Tennessee within the next year. I like the idea, but I feel like I am just starting to become attached to people here.

A friend of mine asked me to be his best man recently. It's an honor I didn't expect at all. He's definitely one of the people I respect most in AZ, but I didn't think he regarded me as a close friend. When he asked, I realized that me and him are more similar than I previously thought -- in that we don't have many friends. That said, he is certainly my closest friend in AZ (wife excluded), and I'm blessed every time I'm around him. Chowon's and my work schedule have me with almost no free time lately, though, which is really bumming me out, because I want to be a more active and involved best man.

"Then it was said to men, 'if you sin, you will die.' Now it is said to the martyr, 'die so that you will sin not.' Then it was said, 'if you transgress the commandment, you will die.' Now it is said, 'if you decline death, you transgress the commandment.'"

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Still working through Augustine, and I wanted to post this delicious quote:

And we indeed recognize in ourselves the image of God, that is, of the supreme Trinity, an image which, though it be not equal to God, or rather, though it be very far removed from Him—being neither co-eternal, nor, to say all in a word, consubstantial with Him—is yet nearer to Him in nature than any other of His works, and is destined to be yet restored, that it may bear a still closer resemblance. For we both are, and know that we are, and delight in our being, and our knowledge of it. Moreover, in these three things no true-seeming illusion disturbs us; for we do not come into contact with these by some bodily sense, as we perceive the things outside of us—colors, e.g., by seeing, sounds by hearing, smells by smelling, tastes by tasting, hard and soft objects by touching—of all which sensible objects it is the images resembling them, but not themselves which we perceive in the mind and hold in the memory, and which excite us to desire the objects. But, without any delusive representation of images or phantasms, I am most certain that I am, and that I know and delight in this. In respect of these truths, I am not at all afraid of the arguments of the Academicians, who say, What if you are deceived? For if I am deceived, I am. For he who is not, cannot be deceived; and if I am deceived, by this same token I am. And since I am if I am deceived, how am I deceived in believing that I am? For it is certain that I am if I am deceived. Since, therefore, I, the person deceived, should be, even if I were deceived, certainly I am not deceived in this knowledge that I am. And, consequently, neither am I deceived in knowing that I know. For, as I know that I am, so I know this also, that I know. And when I love these two things, I add to them a certain third thing, namely, my love, which is of equal moment. For neither am I deceived in this, that I love, since in those things which I love I am not deceived; though even if these were false, it would still be true that I loved false things. For how could I justly be blamed and prohibited from loving false things, if it were false that I loved them? But, since they are true and real, who doubts that when they are loved, the love of them is itself true and real? Further, as there is no one who does not wish to be happy, so there is no one who does not wish to be. For how can he be happy, if he is nothing?

Looks familiar. It's not exactly the same approach that I see in common arguments today, but he was arguing with a group of people who largely already believed in gods.

On a personal note, I want to interject with a certain cautionary notion, with which I sometimes caution myself. That is, certain types of ministry can become idols. I find myself so often confronted with bold proclamations of atheistic antiChristian ideas and "sciences", though even naming them as such grates at me inasmuch as it implies that Christianity is not related to science (and without digressing too far I feel need to point out that "Christian Science" is the title of a really unfortunately named cult, neither Christian nor scientific, but "Creation Science" is a potentially beneficial field of study), that I've identified a temptation to immediately weigh every new thing I learn against the claims of atheists, rather than to praise God for His truths in general and special revelation. Thankfully this was pointed out to me about 3 years ago when I accelerated my study of the topic, and I've since made a point of putting the argument out of my mind when it is not appropriate.

In short, refuting atheists isn't the only thing I'm thinking about all day, it's just what I blog about most often, because there really aren't very many good outlets for this type of thinking. Chowon is a wonderful partner, but she's not that interested in philosophy; it doesn't make for good small talk; and I wouldn't get very far by dumping long quotes from Augustine on atheists during common evangelism. So basically my blog is my only outlet for these thoughts, (whenever I get time to think deeply about them).

Speaking of which, I have a few things to say about instinct, as a potential answer from the atheists as to how they account for Logic (big L). It came to me that I usually present the atheist position as an unsolvable dichotomy between internal rationalization and external empiricism, but instinct doesn't immediately fit into either of those categories necessarily. I might partially agree with the hypothetical atheist here, because I think that our instincts are a valuable part of God's general revelation to us, since they teach us certain aspects of reason and they tend to make us dislike exposing ourselves to seeing others harmed. However, as an ultimate foundation, instincts fall victim to the same pitfalls we've discussed elsewhere, that they are rooted in the individual and that the expression of them varies from person to person. We could say, "what about that guy over there whose instincts tell him to kill his neighbor", to which the atheist might leap into their other leaky boat by saying "well, he's sick, and we determine his sickness by weighing his opinions against those of the majority", in which case the atheist had better be prepared to denounce homosexuality (and by extension any other counter-culture movement).

"All your works will praise your name and all creation will proclaim that you alone are God and King and we will bring our offering of praise."
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