Monday, April 29, 2013

I got an internship!!~~~~

It's with Vertech in Arizona. They're like a mid-sized company, but I can see how they'd become a big company if they manage to hit the right mark in their field or make some kind of breakthrough. They've got a good business -- PLCs. I'm not totally clear if they develop and build their own PLC hardware, or buy PLCs from others and put them to use. Either way is good, though. I'm really excited to be working with them. I hope I can help their company somehow while I'm there... as in, leave it better than I found it. Although, I can't imagine there's much impact for me to make as an intern. I'll keep my eyes open. Who knows?

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As I write this, I'm doing some last minute Shakespeare studying. The final is in 2 hours (ish).

...

Well... I s'pose it's time to go get lunch before the test.

"Too much fire in your belly."

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Last night I had a really long dream:

At the start, I was with my friends from high school and freshman year of college. We were in some sort of pretend battle with another group of our peers, and a friend of mine and I got captured by the enemy. They sat us down and told us not to leave, but while they slept I found a way to escape. I told my friend to come with me, but he was too slow to decide, so I left. I made it out, and just barely didn't get caught. My captors called after me, "We made it easy this time, but next time you won't escape."

While I was running, I fought a large boar and killed it and brought its carcass with me. Upon returning to my friends, I had been transformed into some kind of creature; like a mix between a turtle, a pig, and a bird. I sat down with my friends, and one of them was talking to his girlfriend, saying "I love you, but I'm special. See, Zac wouldn't love you because you're fat." or something like that. I wanted to tell her it wasn't true, but all that came out was, "No way! See, I brought you this boar." and she didn't get it.

Then, my dad and brother came into the room, and took me away to a place that felt a lot like home. After some brief visiting, my dad left to get my sister. My brother looked at me and said, "Zac, you're not yourself. What's wrong?" And I opened up to him about everything I feel. My brother took a bunch of sharpies, and took off his shirt, and drew these awesome drawings all over his upper body. While he drew, he explained to me the meaning of each one and how it had to do with wisdom and my life. While he was explaining, I became a person again.

Then, my dad came back and took me and my brother and sister out to town. While we were out, my sister's purse got stolen, and we caught the guy who did it, but he didn't have her purse. We got him to tell us where it was, and we went there ready for war. I guess it was like some sort of gang hangout. We brought all sorts of guns and suited up to defend ourselves against anything. There were two rooms in the building, and I stayed behind in the first, to watch people there and make sure they don't do anything that would jeopardize our mission.  While there, I realized that none of my guns were actually loaded. My brother and father came back out of the room within a short time and said, "We forgot ammo. We're in a den of lions." But we just walked out without the bag. Outside the building, Dan and I made for home, but dad went another way.

That's it. I wanted to get it out before I forgot it.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

So these days I'm thinking about my level of control in the situation with my parents. I feel like it's almost dangerous to articulate my sphere of influence, because I don't want to give myself too much credit or I run the risk of hurting myself -- and I don't want to give myself too little credit, or I might... idk... have self esteem problems or something. I really don't control any of it... except (here it comes...) myself, and my own response. I am only in control of myself, and my ability to respond lovingly (even if it means to respond in loving reproof) to my family no matter what.

A friend recommended to me that I discuss this here. xP

I was thinking... the most important thing... is that me and my siblings stay friendly. We've got a lot of good memories together. I think it's a slim chance that anything will happen to our relationships, and there's little I can do if something does happen, but I'm confident in us.

These days I have a sentence on the tip of my tongue all the time. Something like "I feel..." or "I dreamt..." or "I love..." but I never seem to finish the sentence. I think I need to keep closer touch with my Creator. Last time this happened I remedied it with Bible studies, and I haven't been in a week or two.

The world is a difficult place sometimes. I guess it's never quite difficult enough.

Some kids came to our school from Uganda to worship with us at chapel. They were so humble, and so ecstatic to shake hands with all of us. One of them told us "You have so many boxes. I just have one box, and everything I own is in it." Talking about a footlocker back at his orphanage. They were so thankful to God, and they said that back home they spend hours every day singing and dancing and praising God, who their orphanage owners have given credit for their new home. I feel like those kids are much stronger Christians than I am. They have so much faith, and so much to be thankful for, and they are grateful to God for things that I sometimes waste or even complain about. I can only imagine (and even hope) that their blessings will be 100 times mine in heaven. I was deeply honored, moved, and humbled by their presence and the fact that they just wanted to worship with us. They looked up to me, not realizing how much greater than me they are. What a blessing.

"You trust your parallel port now, but someday you'll come crawling back to USB."

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Yesterday I was looking through some old music and I found Matisyahu. Jess first introduced me to this music in the car with some of her friends. I remember so well, being young and thinking about how awesome her friends were. Jess said, "I don't like any Jamaican sounding rap, unless it's Matisyahu." I was only in the car for a little while, and I rarely, if ever, listened to this music again... but the songs on his album "Shake off the dust... Arise" are each still familiar. Funny how our memory does that.

Today I have a lot more work than I anticipated. I haven't done much work on my Microcomputers project this week. I am going to have to start it up again full swing tomorrow.

No matter what I do, everything fails to satisfy me except time with God.  I can do anything at all and feel empty, except spending time with God... God, teach me the right way. Lead me on the path of righteousness; move me always toward you and let me not be led astray.

I'm so scared about this microcomputer design project. I don't know if I can do it in time without sacrificing my good grades on some of my other projects.

Hmmm... back to work.

"I see better days and I do better things. I catch dinosaurs... Make love to Elizabeth Taylor... Catch hell from Richard Burton."
Map
 
my pet!