I've been really back and forth lately about what I like. I dig the mellow electronic stuff and some hip-hop (the kind which is written by people with self respect), but I can't seem to escape the oldies. These are the stations on my Pandora Shuffle right now:
StarF***er
Hiromi and Chick Corea
Ratatat
Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald
Psyche O and Nujabes
(Each with an assortment of likes and dislikes, of course).
This week I've been taking some time to appreciate the lessons I've learned from my mistakes in the past. Without getting into detail... ;;; I'm really blessed by God's grace and forgiveness. I'm a better person, in part, because of the way God has used my guilt to push me away from repeating my mistakes. I still feel regrets because of some things... but that's because I now am able to see how strongly my actions affect the people around me, and how much my words and actions also affect myself (as well as the other way around). I feel like people are going to read this and think "Zac's being melodramatic," or "Zac hasn't done anything that bad. He's just a first-world kid with exaggerated problems." Don't suppose that things I've done fit on some scale of good and bad that you've conceived of.
Without defeating myself here... it's the little things that bother me the most. Big things, like going to jail, send a clear message: "don't do that again!". The things that bother me the most are things I've gotten away with. They say you're only in trouble if you get caught, but... I think it's much easier to let go of your guilt if you've been punished for it. I guess the point here is that I'm really blessed that God has given me the ability to self-analyze. I recognize my regrets, experience them, learn from them, and then let them pass over me like clouds -- becoming new. I've done a few things I really really wish I could apologize to somebody for... God, please continue to mold me into the person you want me to be. And don't cut me any slack.
Also, I made my blog a little wider, but I'm not sure if I like the way the header sits on it. I'm gonna experiment with the dimensions more later.
"because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son."
No comments:
Post a Comment