Monday, November 25, 2013

So I can't speak for everything the Black Eyed Peas produce, but I really like this song:

I could listen to it over and over. It's a bitter-sweet anthem for the united states. It talks about love that's not sexual, but kind, gentle, respectful, and honest. Where is that?

After all, God determines whether we live or die in any case. If I can protect anything, then God will give me the opportunity and ability to do so. I can't let myself be stretched thin looking out for the people I love. Can I love everyone? Is it safe for me to allow myself to be genuinely concerned for every person I meet? Am I even capable of really loving just one person with real, selfless love? If I can't do that, then how can I be useful to the greater good of humanity? Can I be sure that you'll be respected? Can I really pass the burden of your protection on to God?

It's kindof like electing Ron Paul for President. I know plenty of people who'd love to have done it, but they didn't vote for him because they "didn't think he'd win". I can't be kind to just everyone, because they won't be kind to me. They can't be kind with me, because they know that others won't be kind to them. Where does it start?

Sometimes I think I'd rather be naive, kind to everyone, and constantly suffering injustice, instead of "street smart", "wise", concerned for myself, and full of ignorance! Ignorant of the regret that I would be suffering if I only knew the good I could have done.

What a waste of life we're living!!! What uselessness!! We're all so fake and worthless!! I used to think that life was pointless because I felt powerless, like it was impossible for me or anyone else to make an impact on the world. Now I know that life is pointless, because I am unwilling to make an impact on anyone.

I'm so angry just thinking about how much we're being lied to by our culture. How long I have been tricked into thinking that love is impossible! Yeah, what if I get beaten, killed, or much worse things? At least I did what was loving, and I acted with incredible destructive force; the violent wrath of His Love and Forgiveness -- the forgiveness that crushes worldviews and breaks world governments at their knees. This is forgiveness that we can give to each other in our own lives! Nobody will accept this idea. Apathy will never stop. I don't expect to change anything about the way the world operates, but dammit I will not give up Love in my life for fear of my surroundings!

""Easy as pie""

Monday, November 11, 2013

I don't like to debate.

What's doubt, really? A worldview is such a large thing; how can anyone keep their whole worldview in their immediate frame of reference at any time?

My excuses are worthless. I'm consistently disappointed by how irresponsible I am. God created us for so much more than what I've done. Am I fulfilling my purpose? Nobody really knows. I'm a shade of black in a dream about nothing.

Somehow, however, God remembers me. Jesus offers me a couch to sleep on and says something a little more accommodating than, "You can stay here as long as you're looking for a job.".

I hate debate. Everyone's beliefs are so deeply buried in them that they won't be changed.
If you can convince me that I'm wrong, maybe it's because I'm wrong.

"That's a dangerous thought." Is it?
"Don't be pulled away." From what?
"Be careful in your search." For truth?
Why isn't everyone encouraging doubt in their own minds in order to strengthen themselves and avoid ignorance? I'm so sick of hearing people get offended by opinions that disagree with theirs. Who the hell are you or I to tell anyone that they are wrong?! (Except that "I'm *obviously* right"...) The sooner people realize that all the human knowledge that exists is "best-guess", the better.

I can't compare my emotions to other people's emotions anymore. Each time I present an idea to my friends, they call me weird. I used to recreate my thoughts and feelings in order to develop ideas about the reasons people do the things they do, but now I'm beginning to think I missed the train that everyone else boarded. Is it valuable for me to continue introspecting to build a reference for my worldview?

If "I think" is the only evidence I have that "I am", then my thoughts and perceptions are the only things I can build a worldview on. If my thoughts are not the thoughts of the rest of humanity, then my worldview is not applicable to others on a personal level, and might not be valuable for development of interpersonal skills. So, the value of knowing myself exists entirely in understanding my "coping" methods. Emotions are unavoidable consequences of having a brain, and ignoring them leads to all sorts of deterioration of our physical self. Adequate coping methods are as necessary to survival as shelter or tools.

Is there a point, then, where development of self-awareness via introspection begins to yield diminishing returns? I guess only if you're weird. Everyone I know thinks that they're weird.

"is it true? is it helpful? is it important? is it necessary? is it kind?"
Map
 
my pet!