I'm in such a bad mood lately. I really don't know what it is, but I've noticed it for the past like 3 or 4 days.

I'm having a hard time telling the difference between wisdom and cynicism. I'm having a hard time determining my place in my environment. I'm struggling to determine what is acceptable.

For some reason I can no longer interpret my friends' actions easily. Nothing is serious or straightforward, everything is sarcastic, nothing is positive, everything is a waste of time and energy. I want to talk to someone who tells me their feelings openly and straightforwardly so that I don't have to guess. I want to have a simple friendship. I want a place where I can go and watch a beautiful view without interruption -- and a friend who can sit there with me, drink soda, and read a book or simply know that God is God, without being worried about entertaining each other or thinking "is this person bored or unhappy?"

I wanna sit on the side of a mountain and quietly watch clouds for a couple hours without wondering what homework is due.

I wanna go to work and receive simple and clear instructions from my boss without sarcasm from my coworkers. Am I naive and oblivious, or are they not serious? I honestly don't know these days. Who am I supposed to be at LeTourneau? What is expected of me as a person?

It would be much easier if people treated me as the person who they wanted me to be, so I would know exactly the best way to act for the benefit of everyone... but am I asking to be manipulated? Can I be content with what I am given? Who am I, really?

I need a confidant... I need a break from LeTourneau... I need Christmas break...

"Scratches around the lock"